Aphorisms Galore!

Aphorism of the Day

This is an archive of every Aphorim of the Day since 2012.

Every single day, a very sophisticated computer running state of the art software carefully picks an aphorism from the collection and sends it out to all the nice people who have subscribed to the Aphorism of the Day. If you want to be one of these nice people, create a user profile and start a subscription.

2018-04-09

tiny.ag/vtwqjzpa  ·  submitted 1997

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

Unknown, (probably a misquote of Peter's Principle), in Work and Recreation

2018-04-06

tiny.ag/sr7yv9lh  ·  submitted 1997

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Bertrand Russell, in Wisdom and Ignorance

2018-04-01

tiny.ag/ftbq0ees  ·  submitted 1997

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow.

Mark Twain, in Happiness and Misery

2018-03-30

tiny.ag/7j6zgqod  ·  submitted 1997

A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.

Unknown, in Law and Politics and Men and Women

2018-03-23

tiny.ag/5i2ylath  ·  submitted 1997

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Groucho Marx, in War and Peace

2018-03-21

tiny.ag/b5nmoo2s  ·  submitted 1997 by James Menzies

Mein Kampf (paperback)

Through clever and constant application of propaganda, people can be made to see Paradise as Hell; and also the other way around, to consider the most wretched sort of life as Paradise.

Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, in Law and Politics

2018-03-17

tiny.ag/np9hfjzk  ·  submitted 1997

Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.

John Lennon, in Life and Death

2018-03-14

tiny.ag/0ssbygzn  ·  submitted 1997

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

Ronald Reagan, in Law and Politics

2018-03-12

tiny.ag/ynrgodhh  ·  submitted 1997

Death is nature's way of recycling human beings.

Unknown, in Life and Death

2018-03-06

tiny.ag/dmjofbk9  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation