Unknown

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.

Unknown, (sometimes incorrectly attributed to Petronius Arbiter), in Work and Recreation

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder

Unknown, in War and Peace

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.

Unknown, in Life and Death

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Wasting time is an important part of living.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Truth fears no questions.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

Wethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

Unknown, in Success and Failure