Unknown
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
1–20 (422)
tiny.ag/g6oi3hzo · submitted 1997
We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.
Unknown, (sometimes incorrectly attributed to Petronius Arbiter), in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/0raepug8 · submitted 1997
Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
tiny.ag/zvh1wgvj · submitted 1997
It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
tiny.ag/vykjqus7 · submitted 1997
Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.
Unknown, in War and Peace
tiny.ag/xnqzybth · submitted 1997
Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.
tiny.ag/kgx6jecr · submitted 1997
Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time.
tiny.ag/pe3wjdh9 · submitted 1997
Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.
tiny.ag/r9askkgd · submitted 1997
It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.
tiny.ag/ulyprgno · submitted 1997
It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
Unknown, (bumper sticker), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/s7ezrvqx · submitted 1997
It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
Unknown, in War and Peace
tiny.ag/2wniecpg · submitted 1997
It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the lowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as high as the eagle?
tiny.ag/tmqynfg7 · submitted 1997
It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats.
Unknown, (Russian proverb), in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/xqe7yfma · submitted 1997
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
tiny.ag/xmilhqgd · submitted 1997
It is impossible to defend perfectly against the attack of those who want to die.
Unknown, in War and Peace
tiny.ag/90upthng · submitted 1999
If you're here, you're alive.
tiny.ag/f0ndwhvx · submitted 1997
Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to the insane world.
tiny.ag/1kbmhsw6 · submitted 1997
In politics people work hard to get a job and do little after they get it.
Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics
tiny.ag/ohvcxj98 · submitted 1997
Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.
tiny.ag/jlbzkcea · submitted 1997
Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world.
tiny.ag/f8mrmb30 · submitted 1997
If you wish you be like someone else, you waste the person you are.
1–20 (422)