Unknown

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

You are only young once... but you can be immature your whole life.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what kind of people are his friends and children.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder

Unknown, in War and Peace

You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, to forgive unusual.

Unknown, in Success and Failure