Unknown

We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.

Unknown, (sometimes incorrectly attributed to Petronius Arbiter), in Work and Recreation

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Watch for big problems; they disguise big opportunities.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Wasting time is an important part of living.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Truth fears no questions.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Unknown, (Muslim proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation