Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/qse5ziat  ·  submitted 1998

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ugcdh8oe  ·  submitted 1997

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/gelcd01a  ·  submitted 1997

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/renqzacv  ·  submitted 1997

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ypqqlw9y  ·  submitted 1998

Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/pjhoaeaj  ·  submitted 1997

Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/puraglae  ·  submitted 1997

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ls0zmykb  ·  submitted 1997 by Mark Dawson

However hot the water is, the fire still goes out.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/p7q95xlg  ·  submitted 1997

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/fpgp1ubk  ·  submitted 1997

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/qksor8sl  ·  submitted 1997

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/epdarexm  ·  submitted 1999 by Jim Mueller

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/f2qlymio  ·  submitted 1997

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/lhewzazm  ·  submitted 1997

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/v0yeshan  ·  submitted 1997

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/4asrjxv3  ·  submitted 1997

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/exb7lihg  ·  submitted 1997

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/piw4y7md  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/rh0iiyqp  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/gjpds4m8  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation