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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/iqolobqc · submitted 1997
In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.
tiny.ag/ocxoq7dr · submitted 1997
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu · submitted 1999 by David Knight
An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.
tiny.ag/vk93rps4 · submitted 1997
We must become the change we want to see.
tiny.ag/kge2ejcq · submitted 1997
It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once.
tiny.ag/jdfanm7k · submitted 1998
Lately I've found that if it weren't for stereotypes, conversation would be much more difficult for the closed-minded.
tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr · submitted 1997
If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.
tiny.ag/oxoy2gsu · submitted 1997
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
tiny.ag/ucas5skv · submitted 1997
Life is the childhood of our immortality.
tiny.ag/ry72cat0 · submitted 1997
There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.
tiny.ag/ya1hwz5x · submitted 1997
There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees.
tiny.ag/dlefcimh · submitted 1997
Comedy is tragedy plus time.
tiny.ag/gesq5cpw · submitted 1997
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
tiny.ag/tymlwb79 · submitted 1997
For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him, he must regard himself as greater than he is.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/rxe07t5e · submitted 1997
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
tiny.ag/zpsqkb73 · submitted 1997
The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.
tiny.ag/o7yghtxb · submitted 1999
Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four. If that is granted, all else follows.
George Orwell, 1984, in Happiness and Misery
tiny.ag/l4pyn7j8 · submitted 1997
I will answer anything I can with honor, but not about others.
tiny.ag/pbhm4rie · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.