Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/soebrnq6  ·  submitted 1997

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Sam Brown, (Washington Post, 1977), in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/hifvkpkc  ·  submitted 1997

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Doug Larson, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/2ohv3gf8  ·  submitted 1997

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/1zzynlyn  ·  submitted 1997

These are not books, lumps of lifeless paper, but minds alive on the shelves.

Gilbert Highet, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/o7yghtxb  ·  submitted 1999

1984 (paperback)

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four. If that is granted, all else follows.

George Orwell, 1984, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/c6jkeq5x  ·  submitted 1997

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.

Marshall McLuhan, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo  ·  submitted 1997

An Evening Wasted (audio CD)

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/uoqbw63r  ·  submitted 1997

It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them.

Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/5rylx71v  ·  submitted 1997

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

David Dunham, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/8hodlqqe  ·  submitted 1997

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confessor of character.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/vmqykh2c  ·  submitted 1997

Catch-22 (paperback)

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/tmupilkz  ·  submitted 1997

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

Albert Einstein, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/nqhblasx  ·  submitted 1997

It is perfectly true that the government is best which governs least. It is equally true that the government is best which provides most.

Walter Lippmann, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/tq4jumf6  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Oscar Levant, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/wujpidqy  ·  submitted 1999

The only real revolution is in the enlightenment of the mind and the improvement of character. The only real emancipation is individual, and the only real revolutionaries are philosophers and saints.

Will Durant, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/pmqy9n03  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all.

Georges Courteline, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/wtukmszr  ·  submitted 1997

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

Robert Frost, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/tuvabnig  ·  submitted 1999

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/1jtdasvn  ·  submitted 1997

Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.

Thomas Jefferson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/losztnwc  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance