Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/ucas5skv  ·  submitted 1997

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/bgvxtarp  ·  submitted 1997

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/lctsfa7d  ·  submitted 1997

Politics is like a race horse. A good jockey must know how to fall with the least possible damage.

Edouard Herriot, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/yuezt1iy  ·  submitted 1997

A painting in a museum probably hears more foolish remarks than anything else in the world.

Edmond Jules Goncourt, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/a0oxkbo4  ·  submitted 1997

I think, therefore I am.

René Descartes, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/hjlqxeds  ·  submitted 1997

In politics, merit is rewarded by the possessor being raised, like a target, to a position to be fired at.

Christian Nevell Bovee, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/npf5ywfi  ·  submitted 1997

He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.

Confucius, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/m6lj8yot  ·  submitted 1997

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Irving Kristol, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/f0cqgbjg  ·  submitted 1997

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Philip K. Dick, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/bnnutdd7  ·  submitted 1997

Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/jx4okg6p  ·  submitted 1999 by Michael A. Loduha

When skunks duel, wind direction is everything.

Michael A. Loduha, (on environmental factors in legal cases vs. the attorneys' skills; from a lecture series), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/kgnpd9wc  ·  submitted 1998

Even thinking is participation.

Lassi Kämäri, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/zhi7upjz  ·  submitted 1997

I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.

John Keats, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/fpwszor9  ·  submitted 1997

He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.

Horace, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/uvpjrb6x  ·  submitted 1997

Desperation is like stealing from the mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/yzqij6mr  ·  submitted 1997

I've never met a healthy person who worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his soul.

Haldane, in Vice and Virtue and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/pu94ynqw  ·  submitted 1997

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/vmqykh2c  ·  submitted 1997

Catch-22 (paperback)

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ikcjtldg  ·  submitted 1997

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Daniel Boorstin, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zzbstsyk  ·  submitted 1997

If the aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.

Stanley Garn, in Wisdom and Ignorance