Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/9qotdgih  ·  submitted 1999

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Doug Kenney, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/uejht2oo  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Jules de Gaultier, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/yio6tuyz  ·  submitted 1997

Deep Thoughts (paperback)

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/dlefcimh  ·  submitted 1997

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

Carol Burnett, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/zpsqkb73  ·  submitted 1997

The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/a0oxkbo4  ·  submitted 1997

I think, therefore I am.

René Descartes, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/hdkst9q4  ·  submitted 1997

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

Yogi Berra, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/x06lwkz4  ·  submitted 1997

Life's tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late.

Benjamin Franklin, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/rdqgrf59  ·  submitted 1997

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/gokrtfpu  ·  submitted 1997

If I don't know I don't know, I think I know. If I don't know I know, I think I don't know.

R. D. Laing, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/1jtdasvn  ·  submitted 1997

Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.

Thomas Jefferson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/dnj7czjw  ·  submitted 1998

Mankind must give up war in the Atomic Era. What is at stake is the life or death of humanity.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/tgkornhe  ·  submitted 1997

Time Enough for Love (paperback)

Yield to temptation -- it may not pass your way again.

Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love (Lazarus Long), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/4xolnjrp  ·  submitted 1997

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/phdwhmxt  ·  submitted 1997

I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.

Cicero, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/f7dpm5bc  ·  submitted 1997

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/p7nfwxgq  ·  submitted 1997

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women