Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/p7nfwxgq  ·  submitted 1997

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6thfwduq  ·  submitted 1999

Romance is built on illusion, and when we love someone, we love the illusion they have created for us.

Roger Ebert, (from review of Boys Don't Cry, Oct. 22, 1999), in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/mmclufba  ·  submitted 1997

Less than fifteen percent of the people do any original thinking on any subject... The greatest torture in the world for most people is to think.

Luther Burbank, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/f7dpm5bc  ·  submitted 1997

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/soebrnq6  ·  submitted 1997

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Sam Brown, (Washington Post, 1977), in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/ry72cat0  ·  submitted 1997

There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.

Douglas MacArthur, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/fjegbeuo  ·  submitted 1997

I think it would be a good idea.

Mahatma Gandhi, (when asked what he thought of Western civilization), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/if7zb5ls  ·  submitted 1997

Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences.

Molly Ivins, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/t6xaogci  ·  submitted 1997

The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Niels Bohr, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/m6lj8yot  ·  submitted 1997

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Irving Kristol, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo  ·  submitted 1997

An Evening Wasted (audio CD)

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/nvfl7j9k  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

Howard Aiken, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/nzeorxiy  ·  submitted 1997

Every calling is great when greatly pursued.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/fwsozshx  ·  submitted 1997

If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/1jtdasvn  ·  submitted 1997

Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day.

Thomas Jefferson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/hobsgyde  ·  submitted 1997

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Bertolt Brecht, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/4xolnjrp  ·  submitted 1997

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/poggndv0  ·  submitted 1997

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

Thomas Jefferson, in Altruism and Cynicism