Unknown

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Here's to your love, health, and wealth -- and time to enjoy each.

Unknown, (Spanish proverb), in Happiness and Misery

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Holt's Law: All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

However hot the water is, the fire still goes out.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.

Unknown, in Food and Drink