Aphorisms Galore!

Aphorism of the Day

This is an archive of every Aphorim of the Day since 2012.

Every single day, a very sophisticated computer running state of the art software carefully picks an aphorism from the collection and sends it out to all the nice people who have subscribed to the Aphorism of the Day. If you want to be one of these nice people, create a user profile and start a subscription.

2026-09-16

tiny.ag/pqyzbh1e  ·  submitted 1997

Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

2026-09-15

tiny.ag/tpxrfoyh  ·  submitted 1997

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Unknown, in Life and Death

2026-09-14

tiny.ag/dhpqxvke  ·  submitted 1997

Talkers are no good doers.

William Shakespeare, Henry VI, in Success and Failure

2026-09-13

tiny.ag/q2cvf8pi  ·  submitted 1997

The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead.

Aristotle, in Wisdom and Ignorance

2026-09-12

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

2026-09-11

tiny.ag/jsphv1u4  ·  submitted 1999

A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

2026-09-10

tiny.ag/u5mb79tw  ·  submitted 1997

Peter Pan (hardcover)

Anything is possible if you wish hard enough.

James Matthew Barrie, Peter Pan, in Success and Failure

2026-09-09

tiny.ag/hjgpjdl6  ·  submitted 1997

A bend in the road is not the end of the road -- unless you fail to make the turn.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

2026-09-08

tiny.ag/n51jrfp4  ·  submitted 1997

When a female has tears in her eyes the one who cannot see is the male.

Unknown, in Men and Women

2026-09-07

tiny.ag/3mx96pc7  ·  submitted 1997

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Walt Disney, in Men and Women