Life and Death
196 aphorisms · 11 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
1–20 (196)
tiny.ag/ynrgodhh · submitted 1997
Death is nature's way of recycling human beings.
tiny.ag/hcogkx8m · submitted 1997
Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
tiny.ag/tqq05igh · submitted 1997
Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse.
tiny.ag/7a4ntqxo · submitted 1997
Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.
Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/dxqkz8bq · submitted 1997
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
tiny.ag/zdywajhx · submitted 1997
Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.
tiny.ag/ygktzxcq · submitted 1997
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
tiny.ag/bleirdyt · submitted 1997
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
tiny.ag/uys04zyz · submitted 1997
Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Kennedy.
tiny.ag/lewynsak · submitted 1997
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
tiny.ag/hwk0yobb · submitted 1997
All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/fmvyhi8i · submitted 1997
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
tiny.ag/hoklinq4 · submitted 1997
Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.
tiny.ag/xiwdsjg7 · submitted 1997
Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.
tiny.ag/ptfjij1z · submitted 1997
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
tiny.ag/3ipv86qd · submitted 1998
Genealogy is based on the obviously silly idea that there is no such thing as a bastard.
tiny.ag/odq1svy5 · submitted 1997
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
tiny.ag/wva2bjoz · submitted 1997
I kept on digging the hole deeper and deeper looking for the treasure chest until I finally lifted my head, looked up and realised that I had dug my own grave.
Dominic, (on the psychology of a gambler), in Life and Death and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/satycnrw · submitted 1997
Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate
1–20 (196)