Aphorisms Galore!

Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/f70nm4cm  ·  submitted 1999

All I desire for my own burial is not to be buried alive.

The Earl of Chesterfield, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/q2py4esl  ·  submitted 1997

Let us so live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.

Mark Twain, in Life and Death and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/maz6ijau  ·  submitted 1997

The Mysterious Stranger (paperback)

Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.

Mark Twain, The Mysterious Stranger, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/8vqphwcy  ·  submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen

Mankind terminated, man what a break.

Mark van Essen, (from a lyric written for Bruce Springsteen), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ymq69cki  ·  submitted 1997

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

Voltaire, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hl6bwuua  ·  submitted 1997

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Alfred Adler, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/9xelzoym  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/wva2bjoz  ·  submitted 1997

I kept on digging the hole deeper and deeper looking for the treasure chest until I finally lifted my head, looked up and realised that I had dug my own grave.

Dominic, (on the psychology of a gambler), in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/odq1svy5  ·  submitted 1997

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/xiwdsjg7  ·  submitted 1997

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Daniel Dennett, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/fmvyhi8i  ·  submitted 1997

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.

Clarence Darrow, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/wpy86lpb  ·  submitted 1997

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Russell Banks, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/2rj0neai  ·  submitted 1997

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

John Barrymore, (dying words), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hurfcg6j  ·  submitted 1997

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Hector Berlioz, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/yvxqb7s2  ·  submitted 1999

It is the deed that teaches, not the name we give it. Murder and capital punishment are not the opposites that cancel one another, but similars that breed the same kind.

George Bernard, in Law and Politics and Life and Death

tiny.ag/v1gy9mza  ·  submitted 1997

It's like déjà vu all over again.

Yogi Berra, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/osjwdfeg  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Life and Death and Men and Women

tiny.ag/hoklinq4  ·  submitted 1997

Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.

Daniel Defoe, in Life and Death