Aphorisms Galore!

Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/vbn3b1au  ·  submitted 1997

Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/jnvbea3l  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ncueqfib  ·  submitted 1997

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/gcj36kvs  ·  submitted 1999 by pam brees

Every time a baby is born, so is a grandmother.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/tpxrfoyh  ·  submitted 1997

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/iltu4sq1  ·  submitted 1997

Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/lkbki8ft  ·  submitted 1997

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

tiny.ag/4asrjxv3  ·  submitted 1997

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/dxqkz8bq  ·  submitted 1997

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/zdywajhx  ·  submitted 1997

Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ygktzxcq  ·  submitted 1997

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/bleirdyt  ·  submitted 1997

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/uys04zyz  ·  submitted 1997

Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Kennedy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/lewynsak  ·  submitted 1997

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hwk0yobb  ·  submitted 1997

All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/l3yahg9k  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Health and Disease and Life and Death

tiny.ag/8dojvkdg  ·  submitted 1997

Too much credit is given to the end result. The true lesson is in the struggle that takes place between the dream and reality. That struggle is a thing called life!

Garth Brooks, in Life and Death and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ilv3oim9  ·  submitted 1997

Life is an unbroken succession of false situations.

Thornton Wilder, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/9djxhqx6  ·  submitted 1997

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Earl Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/8vqphwcy  ·  submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen

Mankind terminated, man what a break.

Mark van Essen, (from a lyric written for Bruce Springsteen), in Life and Death