Aphorisms Galore!

Ambrose Bierce

American author and journalist; b. 1842; d. 1913

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/sp9ytcxh  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Vote: The instrument and symbol of a free man's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/tldrjftc  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Riot: A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/l3yahg9k  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Health and Disease and Life and Death

tiny.ag/ex5pqdpc  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be nullified on behalf of a single petitioner, admittedly unworthy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/dzggn7ah  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/opp6altk  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/imyvlox8  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Misfortune: The kind of fortune that never misses.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tckzdvry  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Love: A temporary insanity cureable either by marriage or by removal of the influences under which he incurred the disorder. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/6kh8ljvj  ·  submitted 1997

Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.

Ambrose Bierce, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ca72ttqk  ·  submitted 1997

It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

Ambrose Bierce, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/rfa7bnoi  ·  submitted 1997

Incompatibility: In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/vkpbru1q  ·  submitted 1997

In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, "patriotism" is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first.

Ambrose Bierce, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/3b0kjrvh  ·  submitted 1997

Helpmate: A wife, or bitter half.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/snlzrsu1  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Love and Hate and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/gzduntch  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/lvxaopme  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Accuse: To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged them.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/dxvyak3f  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/yfqykgpj  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the fool their lack of understanding.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Wisdom and Ignorance