Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/eh4xjmzt  ·  submitted 1997

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Louise Beal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ojk8xbtj  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/rxmfom0a  ·  submitted 1997

The relationship between truth and a newspaper is like the relationship between the color green and the number seven. Occasionally you will see the number seven written in green, but you learn not to expect this.

Garrison Keillor, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/nqcfjvh0  ·  submitted 1997

Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.

Mary Ellen Kelly, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9djxhqx6  ·  submitted 1997

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Earl Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/knyvxbon  ·  submitted 1997

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/0fxuodhb  ·  submitted 1997

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/td1vfiu9  ·  submitted 1997

Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.

Robert Anton Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vwaksnik  ·  submitted 1997

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/cjkab7en  ·  submitted 1997

I can resist everything except temptation.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/kd1gueir  ·  submitted 1997

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/jsphv1u4  ·  submitted 1999

A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/58hbs9pq  ·  submitted 1997

It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

Addison Walker, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/57fvsz6t  ·  submitted 1997

No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw  ·  submitted 1997

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/amzxlbug  ·  submitted 1997

All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

Peter Wastholm, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dliywafc  ·  submitted 1997

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/otpgz4zj  ·  submitted 1997

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Gore Vidal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/5otyux70  ·  submitted 1997

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.

Voltaire, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/q6kxew3z  ·  submitted 1997

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism