Altruism and Cynicism

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Rita Mae Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

All government -- indeed, every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue and every prudent act -- is founded on compromise and barter.

Edmund Burke, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Robert J. Hanlon, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.

Daniel Schorr, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism

Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.

Mark van Essen, in Altruism and Cynicism

Do good by stealth.

Ray Prince, in Altruism and Cynicism

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

Ayn Rand, (commencement speech to Naval Academy), in Altruism and Cynicism

In this world, there is one terrible thing, and that is that everyone has his reasons.

Jean Renoir, in Altruism and Cynicism

An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.

Will Rogers, in Altruism and Cynicism

A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.

Joan Powers, Pooh's Little Instruction Book, in Altruism and Cynicism

Demagogue: One who preaches a doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism

There's always an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism and Science and Religion

Hope is nature's veil for hiding truth's nakedness.

Alfred Nobel, in Altruism and Cynicism

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that's said with a dismissive giggle.

P. J. O'Rourke, in Altruism and Cynicism