Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/fjmqiepc  ·  submitted 1997

Smile, it's better than a poke in the eye.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/rlehkt4m  ·  submitted 1997

Smile, it's free therapy.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/fwdapxsq  ·  submitted 1997

The art of giving is perfected through anonymity.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/xysizfch  ·  submitted 1997

The key to heaven's gate cannot be duplicated.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vkemi9qo  ·  submitted 1997

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dochckvh  ·  submitted 1997

Mein Kampf (paperback)

By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell -- and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.

Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ojk8xbtj  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/u5uejalg  ·  submitted 1999

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/pyitdvns  ·  submitted 1997

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxvyak3f  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dzggn7ah  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kje1nil8  ·  submitted 1997

Grub first, then ethics.

Bertolt Brecht, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/57fvsz6t  ·  submitted 1997

No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/eh4xjmzt  ·  submitted 1997

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Louise Beal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/mgrteolp  ·  submitted 2011 by peter

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Robert J. Hanlon, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw  ·  submitted 1997

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dliywafc  ·  submitted 1997

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/amzxlbug  ·  submitted 1997

All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

Peter Wastholm, in Altruism and Cynicism