Altruism and Cynicism

There's always an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism and Science and Religion

Hope is nature's veil for hiding truth's nakedness.

Alfred Nobel, in Altruism and Cynicism

All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that's said with a dismissive giggle.

P. J. O'Rourke, in Altruism and Cynicism

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

Welcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if you run out of food.

Dean McLaughlin, in Altruism and Cynicism

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.

Marshall McLuhan, in Altruism and Cynicism

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Louise Beal, in Altruism and Cynicism

Cynics are made, not born.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Beat your own and others will fear you.

Unknown, (Russian proverb), in Altruism and Cynicism

A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

Unknown, (Chinese proverb), in Altruism and Cynicism

Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.

Robert Anton Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Oscar Wilde, in Altruism and Cynicism

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Earl Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death