Altruism and Cynicism

I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.

Adolf Hitler, in Altruism and Cynicism

By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell -- and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed.

Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, in Altruism and Cynicism

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

Grub first, then ethics.

Bertolt Brecht, in Altruism and Cynicism

The simplest act of surrealism is to walk out into the street, gun in hand, and shoot at random.

André Breton, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce, in Altruism and Cynicism

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Louise Beal, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Robert J. Hanlon, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

Addison Walker, in Altruism and Cynicism

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

Peter Wastholm, in Altruism and Cynicism

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Gore Vidal, in Altruism and Cynicism