Altruism and Cynicism
173 aphorisms · 15 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
41–60 (174)
tiny.ag/pyitdvns · submitted 1997
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
tiny.ag/u5uejalg · submitted 1999
Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.
tiny.ag/vkemi9qo · submitted 1997
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
tiny.ag/jsphv1u4 · submitted 1999
A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
tiny.ag/kd1gueir · submitted 1997
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
tiny.ag/cjkab7en · submitted 1997
I can resist everything except temptation.
tiny.ag/vwaksnik · submitted 1997
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
tiny.ag/0fxuodhb · submitted 1997
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
tiny.ag/knyvxbon · submitted 1997
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
tiny.ag/9djxhqx6 · submitted 1997
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
tiny.ag/td1vfiu9 · submitted 1997
Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
tiny.ag/58hbs9pq · submitted 1997
It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
tiny.ag/amzxlbug · submitted 1997
All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.
tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw · submitted 1997
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/dliywafc · submitted 1997
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/ne1vhxlr · submitted 1997
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.
tiny.ag/euochyxn · submitted 1997
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
Daniel Schorr, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/otpgz4zj · submitted 1997
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
tiny.ag/5otyux70 · submitted 1997
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
tiny.ag/7do2rifh · submitted 1997
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism
41–60 (174)