Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/1make2qd  ·  submitted 1997

The Brothers Karamazov (paperback)

Everything is permitted.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/tacuwmyh  ·  submitted 1997

He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/v128alif  ·  submitted 1997

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9xelzoym  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/mgrteolp  ·  submitted 2011 by peter

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Robert J. Hanlon, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/dliywafc  ·  submitted 1997

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw  ·  submitted 1997

Calvin and Hobbes (paperback)

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/amzxlbug  ·  submitted 1997

All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.

Peter Wastholm, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/58hbs9pq  ·  submitted 1997

It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.

Addison Walker, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/7hdzmwue  ·  submitted 1997

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/7do2rifh  ·  submitted 1997

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/r6bo5aic  ·  submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen

Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.

Mark van Essen, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/0ihiksxu  ·  submitted 1997

On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.

H. Allen Smith, Let the Crabgrass Grow, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/asecpbyl  ·  submitted 1997

A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.

Edgar A. Shoaff, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/lkgjcwse  ·  submitted 1997

Baloney is flattery so thick that it can not be true and blarney is flattery so thin that we like it.

Fulton J. Sheen, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9m1hmtxp  ·  submitted 1997

When a man wants to murder a tiger, it's called sport; when the tiger wants to murder him, it's called ferocity.

George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/itutlzy5  ·  submitted 1997

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.

George Bernard Shaw, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ne1vhxlr  ·  submitted 1997

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism