Unknown
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
21–40 (422)
tiny.ag/bpgwmk3n · submitted 1997
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
tiny.ag/puraglae · submitted 1997
If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.
tiny.ag/fsy6lb1v · submitted 1997
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
tiny.ag/fpgp1ubk · submitted 1997
I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.
Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/qksor8sl · submitted 1997
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
tiny.ag/epdarexm · submitted 1999 by Jim Mueller
I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.
tiny.ag/f2qlymio · submitted 1997
I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/lhewzazm · submitted 1997
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
tiny.ag/v0yeshan · submitted 1997
I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.
tiny.ag/4asrjxv3 · submitted 1997
I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
tiny.ag/exb7lihg · submitted 1997
I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.
Unknown, in Men and Women
tiny.ag/5edntuvq · submitted 1997
If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
tiny.ag/6jbweh3g · submitted 1999 by John Cannizzaro
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
tiny.ag/eanvvuth · submitted 1997
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
tiny.ag/0xhdtnul · submitted 1997
If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.
tiny.ag/gjpds4m8 · submitted 1997
If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.
tiny.ag/rh0iiyqp · submitted 1997
If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
tiny.ag/piw4y7md · submitted 1997
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
tiny.ag/fwsgb93v · submitted 1997
If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.
tiny.ag/ugvde1cx · submitted 1997
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
21–40 (422)