Unknown

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

Unknown, (probably a misquote of Peter's Principle), in Work and Recreation

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

Unknown, (Indian proverb), in Life and Death and Vice and Virtue

When you're angry, take a deep breath and count to ten. When you're really angry, swear.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

When you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen them all.

Unknown, in War and Peace

While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is admission to someone else.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we've used the ones we have?

Unknown, in War and Peace

Wise men make proverbs; fools repeat them.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.

Unknown, (Greek proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The world is governed more by appearance than realities, so it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as it is to know it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Theft from a single author is plagiarism. Theft from two is comparative study. Theft from three or more is research.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Work and Recreation

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure