Unknown

First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterwards.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Experience is often what you get when you were expecting something else.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Everything you do or say is public relations.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.

Unknown, in Food and Drink

Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Work and Recreation

Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

Unknown, in Law and Politics