Unknown
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
41–60 (422)
tiny.ag/lc1buagj · submitted 1997
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
tiny.ag/8kw5laiw · submitted 1997
You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.
tiny.ag/ugcdh8oe · submitted 1997
You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.
tiny.ag/gelcd01a · submitted 1997
You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
tiny.ag/renqzacv · submitted 1997
You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.
Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure
tiny.ag/ypqqlw9y · submitted 1998
Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder
Unknown, in War and Peace
tiny.ag/t2ay3kb5 · submitted 1997
If you see a turtle on a fence post, he has had some help.
tiny.ag/ckgbheun · submitted 1997
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you -- but if you really make them think they'll hate you.
tiny.ag/koyyq54r · submitted 1997
If you love your job, you will never have to work another day in your life.
tiny.ag/ina54mbv · submitted 1997
If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
tiny.ag/cwh4nfsu · submitted 1997
If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over.
tiny.ag/26gdqtzf · submitted 1997
If you don't believe in something, you'll fall for anything.
tiny.ag/vhuaqm1e · submitted 1997
If you do what you've always done, you'll be what you've always been.
tiny.ag/hsipkpnw · submitted 1997
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
tiny.ag/o7ofzkdq · submitted 1997
If you can read this, thank a teacher.
tiny.ag/mwma270i · submitted 1997
If you believe everything you read, you'd better not read.
Unknown, (Japanese proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/fsy6lb1v · submitted 1997
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
tiny.ag/5edntuvq · submitted 1997
If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
tiny.ag/6jbweh3g · submitted 1999 by John Cannizzaro
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
tiny.ag/ugvde1cx · submitted 1997
If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
41–60 (422)