Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/pxfadpln  ·  submitted 1997

Never give advice -- a wise man won't need it, a fool won't heed it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/zoq7mjnx  ·  submitted 1997

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/nqmdzsyl  ·  submitted 1997

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/6bpzcbnv  ·  submitted 1997

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/yjcobkfn  ·  submitted 1997

No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ovsgddqq  ·  submitted 1997

Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/hni90jff  ·  submitted 1997

Not everyone born in a stable thinks himself a horse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/s7ezrvqx  ·  submitted 1997

It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/ulyprgno  ·  submitted 1997

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

Unknown, (bumper sticker), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/r9askkgd  ·  submitted 1997

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/pe3wjdh9  ·  submitted 1997

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/kgx6jecr  ·  submitted 1997

Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/vykjqus7  ·  submitted 1997

Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/xnqzybth  ·  submitted 1997

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/b5lrmegw  ·  submitted 1997

Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/0raepug8  ·  submitted 1997

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/2fem3dfi  ·  submitted 1997

Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/skc4wmie  ·  submitted 1997

It doesn't <EM>take</EM> all kinds -- we just <EM>have</EM> all kinds.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/zvh1wgvj  ·  submitted 1997

It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Unknown, in Science and Religion