Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/ceh5zfoy  ·  submitted 1997

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/mz7zqsiw  ·  submitted 1997

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/tp4xrqcg  ·  submitted 1997

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/h6nrslrd  ·  submitted 1997

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/wnvuqdit  ·  submitted 1997

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/d0mhaxyw  ·  submitted 1997

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/pb2gjrze  ·  submitted 1997

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/r3bhbgos  ·  submitted 1997

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/l9jtfiar  ·  submitted 1997

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/uijwr4e3  ·  submitted 1997

To err is human, to forgive unusual.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zeuc9zpa  ·  submitted 1997

While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/vtwqjzpa  ·  submitted 1997

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

Unknown, (probably a misquote of Peter's Principle), in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/muxgqopb  ·  submitted 1997

Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.

Unknown, (Greek proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/tcrvsd4o  ·  submitted 1997

Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/bzeqsrni  ·  submitted 1997

Wise men make proverbs; fools repeat them.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/yy2e1ad8  ·  submitted 1997

Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we've used the ones we have?

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/o4tugiae  ·  submitted 1997

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/eq4zodra  ·  submitted 1997

When they broke open molecules, they found they were filled with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found they were filled with explosions.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/wobuqdw1  ·  submitted 1997

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.

Unknown, (Indian proverb), in Life and Death and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ubdtlbzz  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

When you're angry, take a deep breath and count to ten. When you're really angry, swear.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue