Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/stfdm53a  ·  submitted 1997

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/aqhc8mvh  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ugvde1cx  ·  submitted 1997

If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/d6tftb8q  ·  submitted 1997

If everyone would sweep in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.

Unknown, (Middle Eastern proverb), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/eanvvuth  ·  submitted 1997

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/fwsgb93v  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.

Unknown, in Food and Drink

tiny.ag/piw4y7md  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/rh0iiyqp  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/gjpds4m8  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/0xhdtnul  ·  submitted 1997

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ipnqtb0n  ·  submitted 1997

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/puraglae  ·  submitted 1997

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/u1iblda0  ·  submitted 1997

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ulyprgno  ·  submitted 1997

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

Unknown, (bumper sticker), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/r9askkgd  ·  submitted 1997

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/pe3wjdh9  ·  submitted 1997

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/kgx6jecr  ·  submitted 1997

Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/skc4wmie  ·  submitted 1997

It doesn't <EM>take</EM> all kinds -- we just <EM>have</EM> all kinds.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/jlbzkcea  ·  submitted 1997

Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/2fem3dfi  ·  submitted 1997

Isn't it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Unknown, in Science and Religion