Unknown

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterwards.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Experience is often what you get when you were expecting something else.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Everything you do or say is public relations.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Even if you aren't making money at your job, but doing something you love to do, you are a true success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Every solution breeds new problems.

Unknown, in Success and Failure