Unknown

Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Draft beer, not people.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Don't do whatever you like -- like whatever you do.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Work and Recreation

Don't die until you're dead.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Work and Recreation

Death is nature's way of recycling human beings.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth -- communism is the equal distribution of poverty.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Cheer up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Change is good, but dollars are better.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Unknown, in Success and Failure