Unknown

When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

Unknown, in Men and Women

When a female has tears in her eyes the one who cannot see is the male.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Wethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Westheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in the laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Watch for big problems; they disguise big opportunities.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Wasting time is an important part of living.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure