Unknown

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Cheer up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Change is good, but dollars are better.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Boren's Laws: (1) When in charge, ponder. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in doubt, mumble.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

However hot the water is, the fire still goes out.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth -- communism is the equal distribution of poverty.

Unknown, in Law and Politics