Unknown

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

The burden is equal to the horse's strength.

Unknown, (The Talmud), in Work and Recreation

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

Unknown, in Life and Death

The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

The Golden Rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

To err is human, to forgive unusual.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure