Unknown

Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never deprive someone of hope -- it may be all they have.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never give advice -- a wise man won't need it, a fool won't heed it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Nostalgia is the realization that things weren't as unbearable as they seemed at the time.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

Not everyone born in a stable thinks himself a horse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Nothing is difficult to those who have the will.

Unknown, (motto of the Dutch Poet's Society), in Success and Failure

Official Project Stages: (1) Uncritical Acceptance. (2) Wild Enthusiasm. (3) Dejected Disillusionment. (4) Total Confusion. (5) Search for the Guilty. (6) Punishment of the Innocent. (7) Promotion of the Non-participants.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Ogden's Law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

We trained hard, but it seemed that everytime we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing; and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.

Unknown, (sometimes incorrectly attributed to Petronius Arbiter), in Work and Recreation

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure