Unknown

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

To err is human, to forgive unusual.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Sex is what women have and men want.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Sharks mainly attack when your're wet.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

She's the kind of woman you could fall madly in bed with.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Silverman's Law: If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Small minds are the first to condemn great ideas.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Some people speak from experience; others, from experience, don't speak.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance