Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Everything you do or say is public relations.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

A ship doesn't travel far in a calm sea.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterwards.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Life's a bitch, and life's got lots of sisters.

Ross Presser, in Life and Death and Success and Failure