Success and Failure

When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.

George Bernard Shaw, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

You see things and you say, "Why?" But I see things that never were; and I say, "Why not?"

George Bernard Shaw, Back to Methuselah, Part I, Act I (1921), in Success and Failure

To deny we need and want power is to deny that we hope to be effective.

Liz Smith, in Success and Failure

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Lada.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

My hands are free, but my mind hesitates.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Measure twice because you can only cut once.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is always better to fail in doing something than to excel in doing nothing.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Vice and Virtue

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure