Success and Failure

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

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It is always better to fail in doing something than to excel in doing nothing.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

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Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

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Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

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I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

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Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

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God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

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Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

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I'd rather be rich than stupid.

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If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

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Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

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Boren's Laws: (1) When in charge, ponder. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in doubt, mumble.

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Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.

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DeVries' Dilemma: If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.

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Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.

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Cheer up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

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Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.

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Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

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