Success and Failure

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If you do what you've always done, you'll be what you've always been.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Vice and Virtue

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If you see a turtle on a fence post, he has had some help.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

It is always better to fail in doing something than to excel in doing nothing.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

DeVries' Dilemma: If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure