Success and Failure

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is always better to fail in doing something than to excel in doing nothing.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Vice and Virtue

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the lowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as high as the eagle?

Unknown, in Success and Failure

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Nothing is difficult to those who have the will.

Unknown, (motto of the Dutch Poet's Society), in Success and Failure

Official Project Stages: (1) Uncritical Acceptance. (2) Wild Enthusiasm. (3) Dejected Disillusionment. (4) Total Confusion. (5) Search for the Guilty. (6) Punishment of the Innocent. (7) Promotion of the Non-participants.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Oliver's Law: Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Once you've tried to change the world you find it's a whole bunch easier to change your mind.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

Only those who do not expect anything are never disappointed. Only those who never try, never fail.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Even if you aren't making money at your job, but doing something you love to do, you are a true success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation