Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Measure twice because you can only cut once.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Lada.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

My hands are free, but my mind hesitates.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules: The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Non-Reciprocal Laws of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results. Positive expectations yield negative results.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Nothing is difficult to those who have the will.

Unknown, (motto of the Dutch Poet's Society), in Success and Failure