Success and Failure

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

Murphy's Law: If anything can go wrong, it will.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.

Edward A. Murphy, Jr., in Success and Failure

Prophecy is many times the principal cause of the events foretold.

Thomas Hobbes, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account.

Doug Hofstadter, in Success and Failure

Success is like a fart -- only your own smells nice.

James P. Hogan, in Success and Failure

Kites rise highest against the wind -- not with it.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.

Unknown, in Success and Failure