Success and Failure

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Measure twice because you can only cut once.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Perfection is perfectly simple; fouling things up requires true skill.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

Remember only the good, the bad will never forget you.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

The art of simplicity is a puzzle of complexity.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

Thought precedes action, action does not always precede thought.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

To buy happiness is to sell soul.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

To hit bottom is to fall from grace.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

We may not always get what we want, but surely we will get what we deserve.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

Don't think, just do.

Reiko Horton, in Success and Failure

I want what I want when I want it!

Roy Horton, (at age six), in Success and Failure and Vice and Virtue

If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

The more you wrestle with a turd, the more shit gets on you.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure