Aphorisms Galore!

Men and Women

52 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/d6nssfxi  ·  submitted 1997

Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.

Lord Kelvin, in Men and Women and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/hf3tbwd4  ·  submitted 1997

My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties.

Douglas Jerrold, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/dccyeyhv  ·  submitted 1997

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.

Elbert Hubbard, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/v6ukdwhs  ·  submitted 1997

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.

Jane Austen, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/xkpw5kax  ·  submitted 1997

If there is anything disagreeable going on, men are always sure to get out of it.

Jane Austen, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/pn9z1dol  ·  submitted 1997

Women like silent men. They think they're listening.

Marcel Archard, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/wrcm1vhx  ·  submitted 1997

The more I know men, the more I love my dog.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/tr9cqzsg  ·  submitted 1997

Sex is what women have and men want.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/ipnqtb0n  ·  submitted 1997

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/exb7lihg  ·  submitted 1997

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch him have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/hbnpkm8x  ·  submitted 1997

When God created two sexes, he may have been overdoing it.

Charles Merrill Smith, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/of4kcoqn  ·  submitted 1997

There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.

Gloria Steinem, in Men and Women and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/rxe07t5e  ·  submitted 1997

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Benny Hill, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/byi02vnc  ·  submitted 1997

There's a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me.

John Erskine, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/yefighwf  ·  submitted 1999

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/ua3yjc0t  ·  submitted 1999

It is the ordinary women that know something about love. The gorgeous ones are too busy being gorgeous.

Katharine Hepburn, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

tiny.ag/4gnwlaf8  ·  submitted 1997

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Alexandre Dumas, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/uakf86jl  ·  submitted 1997

A woman has to be twice as good as a man, to be regarded as half that clever.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/ahwnboyz  ·  submitted 1997

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

Unknown, in Men and Women