Unknown

Truth fears no questions.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

A woman has to be twice as good as a man, to be regarded as half that clever.

Unknown, in Men and Women

A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.

Unknown, in Men and Women

After all is said and done, a lot more is usually said than done.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

After an instrument has been assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

All extremists should be taken out and shot.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

All the way to heaven is heaven.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.

Unknown, in Life and Death