Altruism and Cynicism

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Thomas Jones, in Altruism and Cynicism

The relationship between truth and a newspaper is like the relationship between the color green and the number seven. Occasionally you will see the number seven written in green, but you learn not to expect this.

Garrison Keillor, in Altruism and Cynicism

Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.

Mary Ellen Kelly, in Altruism and Cynicism

We have met the enemy, and he is us.

Walt Kelly, in Altruism and Cynicism

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality.

Martin Luther King, Jr., in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Once you've tried to change the world you find it's a whole bunch easier to change your mind.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

The Golden Rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.

Unknown, (old family saying from Ireland), in Altruism and Cynicism

Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Wealth and Poverty

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never deprive someone of hope -- it may be all they have.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism