Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/y9w5ki2b  ·  submitted 1997

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.

E. W. Howe, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/lu0qepci  ·  submitted 1997

An enemy is anyone who tells the truth about you.

Elbert Hubbard, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/o1xf5nap  ·  submitted 1997

If a feller says, "It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Elbert Hubbard, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/4tfl7wlh  ·  submitted 1997

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Cordel Hull, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/mtktl96r  ·  submitted 1997

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Collis P. Huntington, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ahfxksue  ·  submitted 1997

You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.

Rita Mae Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/qr9ysjed  ·  submitted 1997

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bx0vlces  ·  submitted 1997

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/l9caw6tv  ·  submitted 1997

A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.

George Eliot, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/hjysnvry  ·  submitted 1997

If it looks like shit, smells like shit, mail it to your enemy -- he'll know what to do with it.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vpchszet  ·  submitted 1997

If the destination is heaven, why do we scramble to be first in line for hell?

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bggvrf05  ·  submitted 1997

If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, kill it!

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/nxpusxd1  ·  submitted 1997

Live to learn, learn to live, then teach others.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/2cihxuml  ·  submitted 1997

Materialism is the only form of distraction from true bliss.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/fjmqiepc  ·  submitted 1997

Smile, it's better than a poke in the eye.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/rlehkt4m  ·  submitted 1997

Smile, it's free therapy.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kje1nil8  ·  submitted 1997

Grub first, then ethics.

Bertolt Brecht, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/co7binat  ·  submitted 1997

The simplest act of surrealism is to walk out into the street, gun in hand, and shoot at random.

André Breton, in Altruism and Cynicism