Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/fmchbiz9  ·  submitted 1997

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Rita Mae Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ahfxksue  ·  submitted 1997

You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.

Rita Mae Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dzggn7ah  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/57fvsz6t  ·  submitted 1997

No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kje1nil8  ·  submitted 1997

Grub first, then ethics.

Bertolt Brecht, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/co7binat  ·  submitted 1997

The simplest act of surrealism is to walk out into the street, gun in hand, and shoot at random.

André Breton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/nsami72o  ·  submitted 1997

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

tiny.ag/rts5bix2  ·  submitted 1997

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bvtzf17g  ·  submitted 1997

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/eh4xjmzt  ·  submitted 1997

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Louise Beal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ojk8xbtj  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxvyak3f  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/hwvmnmsf  ·  submitted 1997

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bn17or2l  ·  submitted 1997

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/g7qmt4qj  ·  submitted 1997

Welcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if you run out of food.

Dean McLaughlin, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/avosjwgh  ·  submitted 1997

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.

Marshall McLuhan, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/tnirgb8y  ·  submitted 1997

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/jwmd8ebc  ·  submitted 1997

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.

Henry Louis Mencken, in Altruism and Cynicism