Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/kgx6jecr  ·  submitted 1997

Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/xnqzybth  ·  submitted 1997

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vykjqus7  ·  submitted 1997

Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/0raepug8  ·  submitted 1997

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/b5lrmegw  ·  submitted 1997

Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/rjjl9rkn  ·  submitted 1997

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/jaktd8ze  ·  submitted 1997

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/acorhvan  ·  submitted 1997

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/pcn2zosg  ·  submitted 1997

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/nswjrmi0  ·  submitted 1997

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/slupay0r  ·  submitted 1997

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ogrqyeb7  ·  submitted 1997

Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/bjyoe8up  ·  submitted 1997

Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the result of the right choice.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/wsz5lkjo  ·  submitted 1997

Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it.... While it lies there, it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/jmkw4qmh  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/sbtlzeuy  ·  submitted 1997

Life is like a raffle -- you must be present to win.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ckyj1g65  ·  submitted 1997

Life's a bitch, and then she has puppies.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/jcmdoh1n  ·  submitted 1998 by Anja Klein

Live each day as if it were the last day of your life, because so far, it is.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/njl5gsre  ·  submitted 1997

Live to learn... forget... and learn again.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance