Unknown

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

To err is human, to forgive unusual.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Unknown, (Muslim proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

Truth fears no questions.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

Revenge is sleeping with your enemy's wife. Sweet revenge is the realization that she's a lousy lay.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Rule of Defactualization: Information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

Sanity is the playground for the unimaginative.

Unknown, in Health and Disease

Sex is what women have and men want.

Unknown, in Men and Women