Unknown

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

Unknown, (probably a misquote of Peter's Principle), in Work and Recreation

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You are only young once... but you can be immature your whole life.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what kind of people are his friends and children.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.

Unknown, in Life and Death

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder

Unknown, in War and Peace

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

A computer can make as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working for 20 years.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

A conceited person never gets anywhere because he thinks he is already there.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

A day for firm decisions! Or is it?

Unknown, in Success and Failure

A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.

Unknown, in Law and Politics and Men and Women