Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/xnqzybth  ·  submitted 1997

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vykjqus7  ·  submitted 1997

Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/0raepug8  ·  submitted 1997

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/b5lrmegw  ·  submitted 1997

Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/rjjl9rkn  ·  submitted 1997

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/jaktd8ze  ·  submitted 1997

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/acorhvan  ·  submitted 1997

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/pcn2zosg  ·  submitted 1997

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/nswjrmi0  ·  submitted 1997

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/slupay0r  ·  submitted 1997

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/xl1yrua8  ·  submitted 1997

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/up1actjs  ·  submitted 1997

Decay is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.

Unknown, (sometimes, almost certainly incorrectly, attributed to the Buddha), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/7a4ntqxo  ·  submitted 1997

Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ugaap1m5  ·  submitted 1997

Cynics are made, not born.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/znt3vhbp  ·  submitted 1997

DeVries' Dilemma: If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/2kneov7h  ·  submitted 1997

Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tqq05igh  ·  submitted 1997

Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hcogkx8m  ·  submitted 1997

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ynrgodhh  ·  submitted 1997

Death is nature's way of recycling human beings.

Unknown, in Life and Death