Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/r9askkgd  ·  submitted 1997

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/pe3wjdh9  ·  submitted 1997

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/kgx6jecr  ·  submitted 1997

Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/xnqzybth  ·  submitted 1997

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vykjqus7  ·  submitted 1997

Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/0raepug8  ·  submitted 1997

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/tcqireyb  ·  submitted 1997

Boren's Laws: (1) When in charge, ponder. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in doubt, mumble.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zmis8rln  ·  submitted 1997

Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/dm6wz1hm  ·  submitted 1997

By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/yfwenbfh  ·  submitted 1997

Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth -- communism is the equal distribution of poverty.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/bleirdyt  ·  submitted 1997

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/aqk8szqi  ·  submitted 1997

Change is good, but dollars are better.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/qhswaupg  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/nz2qcagl  ·  submitted 1997

Cheer up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ygktzxcq  ·  submitted 1997

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/zdywajhx  ·  submitted 1997

Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/dxqkz8bq  ·  submitted 1997

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/6gqwgydb  ·  submitted 1997

Conquering Russia should be done steppe by steppe.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/t37feygj  ·  submitted 1997

Contention is better than loneliness.

Unknown, in Love and Hate