Unknown
Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist
281–300 (422)
tiny.ag/8kw5laiw · submitted 1997
You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.
tiny.ag/ugcdh8oe · submitted 1997
You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.
tiny.ag/gelcd01a · submitted 1997
You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
tiny.ag/renqzacv · submitted 1997
You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.
Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure
tiny.ag/ypqqlw9y · submitted 1998
Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder
Unknown, in War and Peace
tiny.ag/qse5ziat · submitted 1998
Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.
tiny.ag/h7w28305 · submitted 1997
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
Unknown, in Life and Death and Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/z8yeojw9 · submitted 1997
Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
tiny.ag/4euzwypx · submitted 1997
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
tiny.ag/no2pawla · submitted 1997
Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
tiny.ag/b94hkcka · submitted 1997
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
tiny.ag/myqpc8fj · submitted 1998 by Mindy Romero
Don't do whatever you like -- like whatever you do.
tiny.ag/kf8mzunf · submitted 1997
Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective.
tiny.ag/nrkqajzx · submitted 1997
Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.
tiny.ag/xzi3am2h · submitted 1997
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
tiny.ag/vbn3b1au · submitted 1997
Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.
Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/jnvbea3l · submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
tiny.ag/ncueqfib · submitted 1997
Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
281–300 (422)