Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/0xhdtnul  ·  submitted 1997

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/gjpds4m8  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/rh0iiyqp  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/piw4y7md  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/fwsgb93v  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.

Unknown, in Food and Drink

tiny.ag/eanvvuth  ·  submitted 1997

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ugvde1cx  ·  submitted 1997

If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/aqhc8mvh  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/stfdm53a  ·  submitted 1997

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/d6tftb8q  ·  submitted 1997

If everyone would sweep in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.

Unknown, (Middle Eastern proverb), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/8ixk9v6t  ·  submitted 1997

Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/dsx2hptx  ·  submitted 1997

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.

Unknown, (Sioux Indian prayer), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/yifsur6a  ·  submitted 1997

Here's to your love, health, and wealth -- and time to enjoy each.

Unknown, (Spanish proverb), in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/ikpxuifk  ·  submitted 1997

Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/v9nue1vj  ·  submitted 1997

Hearts are often broken when words are unspoken.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/4vfcycxe  ·  submitted 1997

Hatred is toxic waste in the river of life.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/icgo06ph  ·  submitted 1997

Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/ximercsy  ·  submitted 1997

God gives the nuts, but he doesn't crack them.

Unknown, (German proverb), in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/s45yjewi  ·  submitted 1997

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/pno9g5xa  ·  submitted 1999 by S.Skipper

Good friends stab you in the front.

Unknown, (from the movie Can't Hardly Wait; sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde), in Love and Hate