Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/s7ezrvqx  ·  submitted 1997

It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/ulyprgno  ·  submitted 1997

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

Unknown, (bumper sticker), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/r9askkgd  ·  submitted 1997

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/pe3wjdh9  ·  submitted 1997

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/kgx6jecr  ·  submitted 1997

Jesus died for your sins. Make it worth his time.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/t2ay3kb5  ·  submitted 1997

If you see a turtle on a fence post, he has had some help.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vykjqus7  ·  submitted 1997

Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/0raepug8  ·  submitted 1997

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/b5lrmegw  ·  submitted 1997

Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/rjjl9rkn  ·  submitted 1997

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/jaktd8ze  ·  submitted 1997

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/acorhvan  ·  submitted 1997

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/donivp2q  ·  submitted 1997

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/xnd6bvkt  ·  submitted 1998 by Dave Supulski

The definition of experience is knowledge acquired too late.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/rhjtfglc  ·  submitted 1997

The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zt1r3of5  ·  submitted 1997

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/mldrjipn  ·  submitted 1997

The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I'll walk carefully.

Unknown, (Russian proverb), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/eqxg4ask  ·  submitted 1997

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

Unknown, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/haktn62q  ·  submitted 1997

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance