Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/wpy86lpb  ·  submitted 1997

Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.

Russell Banks, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/z91tc0go  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/jdfanm7k  ·  submitted 1998

Lately I've found that if it weren't for stereotypes, conversation would be much more difficult for the closed-minded.

Morgan Ivy, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/soebrnq6  ·  submitted 1997

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Sam Brown, (Washington Post, 1977), in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/yefighwf  ·  submitted 1999

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/vk93rps4  ·  submitted 1997

We must become the change we want to see.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/gu6tloek  ·  submitted 1997

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu  ·  submitted 1999 by David Knight

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

David Knight, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/8d5pktgj  ·  submitted 1997

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Dyer, Dyer's Law, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/odq1svy5  ·  submitted 1997

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ctd7inn0  ·  submitted 1997

I got a simple rule about everybody. If you don't treat me right, shame on you.

Louis Armstrong, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ymliwjpf  ·  submitted 1997

War is not nice.

Barbara Bush, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/2xwphyb8  ·  submitted 1997

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

James Joyce, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ooxlc4p0  ·  submitted 1997

Boring people are a reflection of boring people.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/iqolobqc  ·  submitted 1997

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Robert Byrne, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/m6lj8yot  ·  submitted 1997

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Irving Kristol, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/fjegbeuo  ·  submitted 1997

I think it would be a good idea.

Mahatma Gandhi, (when asked what he thought of Western civilization), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/xachd7wx  ·  submitted 1997

Whenever anyone says anything he is indulging in theories.

Alfred Korzybski, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/mglnajv0  ·  submitted 1997

It is impossible to love and be wise.

Francis Bacon, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/ry72cat0  ·  submitted 1997

There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.

Douglas MacArthur, in Success and Failure