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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx · submitted 1997
I don't feel good.
Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/g9nfhw0y · submitted 1997
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
tiny.ag/soebrnq6 · submitted 1997
Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
Sam Brown, (Washington Post, 1977), in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/6y7nwgkt · submitted 1999 by Brian J. Dent
Too much of a good thing is just that.
tiny.ag/la65dtiv · submitted 1998
It was involuntary. They sank my boat.
John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace
tiny.ag/mydapq7x · submitted 1999 by Megan
To accomplish great things, you must not only act but also dream, not only dream but also believe.
tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo · submitted 1997
Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/uvpjrb6x · submitted 1997
Desperation is like stealing from the mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.
tiny.ag/950guyxd · submitted 1997
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
tiny.ag/mtktl96r · submitted 1997
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
tiny.ag/qycsaode · submitted 1997
When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/8dgit6e3 · submitted 1997
Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life.
tiny.ag/vr4hxjva · submitted 1997
Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.
Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/5rylx71v · submitted 1997
Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
tiny.ag/f6aon4ji · submitted 1998
Never try to out-stubborn a cat.
Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure
tiny.ag/phdwhmxt · submitted 1997
I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.
Cicero, in War and Peace
tiny.ag/jgjax6rp · submitted 1999
Take a chance and you may lose. Take not a chance and you have lost already.
tiny.ag/odq1svy5 · submitted 1997
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
tiny.ag/uz9atcqm · submitted 1997
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.