Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/uvpjrb6x  ·  submitted 1997

Desperation is like stealing from the mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.

Doug Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tuvabnig  ·  submitted 1999

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/iulae0a9  ·  submitted 1997

That which is static and repetitive is boring. That which is dynamic and random is confusing. In between lies art.

John A. Locke, sometimes incorrectly attributed to John Locke, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/f6aon4ji  ·  submitted 1998

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/j0xwttzq  ·  submitted 1997

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/cz34szjm  ·  submitted 1997

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/2cctxyhg  ·  submitted 1997

If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.

Hans A. Bethe, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/kge2ejcq  ·  submitted 1997

It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once.

David Hume, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/iobj0muk  ·  submitted 1997

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.

Lillian Hellman, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/04lm8ot1  ·  submitted 1997

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.

Eric Hoffer, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/la8pw7kl  ·  submitted 1997

We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet!

Rudyard Kipling, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ieyckbys  ·  submitted 1997

A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.

Robert Burton, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/bjsd3gdi  ·  submitted 1997

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/9bumiall  ·  submitted 1997

There's nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

Peter F. Drucker, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zwylfryx  ·  submitted 1997

Dune (paperback)

It is by will alone that I set my mind in motion.

Frank Herbert, Dune, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/mqbuthzj  ·  submitted 1997 by Brad Johnson

I'd rather die while I'm living than live while I'm dead.

Jimmy Buffett, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/aoh5h6tb  ·  submitted 1999

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/rnxbf2ho  ·  submitted 1998

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/kiehwrll  ·  submitted 1997

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop, in Happiness and Misery and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tmupilkz  ·  submitted 1997

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

Albert Einstein, in Vice and Virtue