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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/tgkornhe · submitted 1997
Yield to temptation -- it may not pass your way again.
Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love (Lazarus Long), in Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/qycsaode · submitted 1997
When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/o5og0ube · submitted 1997
A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.
tiny.ag/odq1svy5 · submitted 1997
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
tiny.ag/mnrh4p2b · submitted 1997
Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/04lm8ot1 · submitted 1997
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
tiny.ag/8bpf0foj · submitted 1997
I am become death, shatterer of worlds.
Robert J. Oppenheimer, (quoting the Bhagavadgita after witnessing the first nuclear explosion), in War and Peace
tiny.ag/pu94ynqw · submitted 1997
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx · submitted 1997
I don't feel good.
Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate
tiny.ag/gvfo9jw1 · submitted 1997
Education is the period during which you are being instructed by somebody you do not know, about something you do not want to know.
tiny.ag/ojpztwu9 · submitted 1997
Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.
tiny.ag/jcg8ibwt · submitted 1997
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
tiny.ag/36xg9wvl · submitted 1997
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
Nicholas Murray Butler, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure
tiny.ag/m6lj8yot · submitted 1997
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions -- it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
tiny.ag/ynhvcg3k · submitted 1997
Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.
tiny.ag/ct4xj6gg · submitted 1997
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
tiny.ag/frswba1z · submitted 1997
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
tiny.ag/jwhevbgo · submitted 1997
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
tiny.ag/yqo9cx7w · submitted 1997
Good ideas are a dime a dozen, bad ones are free.