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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/rnxbf2ho · submitted 1998
I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.
tiny.ag/tq4jumf6 · submitted 1997
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
tiny.ag/ucas5skv · submitted 1997
Life is the childhood of our immortality.
tiny.ag/ndscvllq · submitted 1997
Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
tiny.ag/p6bwfqfr · submitted 1997
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
tiny.ag/9qotdgih · submitted 1999
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
tiny.ag/gu6tloek · submitted 1997
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics
tiny.ag/hyedkhd2 · submitted 1997
It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.
tiny.ag/raffprlg · submitted 1997
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.
tiny.ag/oqpuijzx · submitted 1997
Hell, there are no rules here -- we're trying to accomplish something.
tiny.ag/04lm8ot1 · submitted 1997
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
tiny.ag/d3ttj2ag · submitted 1997
You can lead a boy to college, but you cannot make him think.
tiny.ag/tvfsj7gx · submitted 1997
I don't feel good.
Luther Burbank, (dying words), in Life and Death
tiny.ag/i5ba47dl · submitted 1997
It gets late early out there.
Yogi Berra, (on Yankee Stadium in the fall), in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/bjsd3gdi · submitted 1997
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
tiny.ag/pbhm4rie · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
tiny.ag/zwylfryx · submitted 1997
tiny.ag/tcyzf8gu · submitted 1999 by David Knight
An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/vmqykh2c · submitted 1997
The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.
Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation