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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/wjruna0x · submitted 1997
The gods too are fond of a joke.
tiny.ag/wpy86lpb · submitted 1997
Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young.
tiny.ag/bjsd3gdi · submitted 1997
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate
tiny.ag/2cctxyhg · submitted 1997
If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.
tiny.ag/dkwhzql3 · submitted 1997
Joy is not in things, it is in us.
tiny.ag/kl7xzzq3 · submitted 1997
An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.
tiny.ag/9qotdgih · submitted 1999
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
tiny.ag/ufko7fwv · submitted 1997
I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.
tiny.ag/ocxoq7dr · submitted 1997
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/mb7skahf · submitted 1997
It is people who live by the rules that are always hoping to get them changed.
tiny.ag/l4pyn7j8 · submitted 1997
I will answer anything I can with honor, but not about others.
tiny.ag/9kdycunx · submitted 1997
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.
Robert Frost, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/rxe07t5e · submitted 1997
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
tiny.ag/ndewfsya · submitted 1997
The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?"
tiny.ag/ct4xj6gg · submitted 1997
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
tiny.ag/xkpfj82n · submitted 1997
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
tiny.ag/la65dtiv · submitted 1998
It was involuntary. They sank my boat.
John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace
tiny.ag/t6xaogci · submitted 1997
The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.