Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/0adqbc8f  ·  submitted 1997

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Albert Einstein, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/tmupilkz  ·  submitted 1997

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

Albert Einstein, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/tymlwb79  ·  submitted 1997

For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him, he must regard himself as greater than he is.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/p7nfwxgq  ·  submitted 1997

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/j0xwttzq  ·  submitted 1997

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/36xg9wvl  ·  submitted 1997

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Nicholas Murray Butler, in Science and Religion and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ev3fc9xo  ·  submitted 1997

An Evening Wasted (audio CD)

Life is like a sewer -- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer, (from the album An Evening Wasted), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ry72cat0  ·  submitted 1997

There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.

Douglas MacArthur, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/ynhvcg3k  ·  submitted 1997

Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left.

Hubert Humphrey, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/kiehwrll  ·  submitted 1997

We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.

Aesop, in Happiness and Misery and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/f7dpm5bc  ·  submitted 1997

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/fpwszor9  ·  submitted 1997

He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.

Horace, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/z91tc0go  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/byzkqtr3  ·  submitted 1997

I would rather be attacked than unnoticed. For the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works.

Samuel Johnson, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/hyedkhd2  ·  submitted 1997

It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/p6bwfqfr  ·  submitted 1997

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P. J. O'Rourke, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/mjjtqyix  ·  submitted 1997

An excuse is the mark of a moral coward.

Joseph Cimino, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/rnxbf2ho  ·  submitted 1998

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death