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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/9qotdgih · submitted 1999
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
tiny.ag/wtukmszr · submitted 1997
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
tiny.ag/hobsgyde · submitted 1997
Why be a man when you can be a success?
tiny.ag/y7qkjsrf · submitted 1997
Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.
tiny.ag/xgpm1arf · submitted 1999
The secret of success is constancy to purpose.
tiny.ag/raffprlg · submitted 1997
The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same act as the destroyer of liberty.
tiny.ag/bmdpgrs0 · submitted 1997
Let's have some new clichés.
tiny.ag/kiehwrll · submitted 1997
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
tiny.ag/kl7xzzq3 · submitted 1997
An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.
tiny.ag/oxoy2gsu · submitted 1997
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
tiny.ag/hoklinq4 · submitted 1997
Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.
tiny.ag/ls2p5dcg · submitted 1997
Sloppy thinking gets worse over time.
tiny.ag/f0cqgbjg · submitted 1997
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
tiny.ag/yio6tuyz · submitted 1997
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death
tiny.ag/mtktl96r · submitted 1997
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
tiny.ag/zzbstsyk · submitted 1997
If the aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.
tiny.ag/x06lwkz4 · submitted 1997
Life's tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late.
tiny.ag/dkwhzql3 · submitted 1997
Joy is not in things, it is in us.
tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu · submitted 1997
There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.
tiny.ag/p7nfwxgq · submitted 1997
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.