Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/jcg8ibwt  ·  submitted 1997

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/rnxbf2ho  ·  submitted 1998

I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it.

Jack Handey, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/dozch5ts  ·  submitted 1997

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck.

Marian Erickson, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/yqgp7fad  ·  submitted 1997

I do not want my house to be walled in on all sides and my windows to be stuffed. I want the cultures of all the lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/9kdycunx  ·  submitted 1997

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Robert Frost, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ikcjtldg  ·  submitted 1997

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Daniel Boorstin, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/poggndv0  ·  submitted 1997

Be polite to all, but intimate with few.

Thomas Jefferson, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/j0xwttzq  ·  submitted 1997

The happiness of the bee and the dolphin is to exist. For man it is to know that and to wonder at it.

Jacques Cousteau, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/fpwszor9  ·  submitted 1997

He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.

Horace, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/5rylx71v  ·  submitted 1997

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

David Dunham, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/pu94ynqw  ·  submitted 1997

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/soebrnq6  ·  submitted 1997

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Sam Brown, (Washington Post, 1977), in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/r3davdhl  ·  submitted 1997

In war, there is no substitute for victory.

Douglas MacArthur, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/5x9cvfxv  ·  submitted 1997

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/yefighwf  ·  submitted 1999

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/5gcdbjbx  ·  submitted 1997

Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration.

Thomas Alva Edison, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/bnnutdd7  ·  submitted 1997

Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bpcdcqq7  ·  submitted 1997

Hitch your wagon to a star.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/0adqbc8f  ·  submitted 1997

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Albert Einstein, in Work and Recreation