Aphorisms Galore!

Aphorism of the Day

This is an archive of every Aphorim of the Day since 2012.

Every single day, a very sophisticated computer running state of the art software carefully picks an aphorism from the collection and sends it out to all the nice people who have subscribed to the Aphorism of the Day. If you want to be one of these nice people, create a user profile and start a subscription.

2019-05-13

tiny.ag/o2nztemh  ·  submitted 1997

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Albert Einstein, in Law and Politics

2019-05-10

tiny.ag/owyunzte  ·  submitted 1997

When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Winston Churchill, (on formal declarations of war), in War and Peace

2019-05-04

tiny.ag/ubdtlbzz  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

When you're angry, take a deep breath and count to ten. When you're really angry, swear.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

2019-05-03

tiny.ag/ojpztwu9  ·  submitted 1997

Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.

Doug Horton, in Vice and Virtue

2019-04-30

tiny.ag/np6qfeud  ·  submitted 1997

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten (audio cassette)

Everything we really need to know we learned in kindergarten.

Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, in Wisdom and Ignorance

2019-04-28

tiny.ag/jw1vdna4  ·  submitted 1997

If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.

Thomas Carlyle, in Science and Religion

2019-04-27

tiny.ag/wjnnpmri  ·  submitted 1997

The best performance improvement is the transition from the nonworking state to the working state.

John Ousterhout, in Success and Failure

2019-04-19

tiny.ag/9djxhqx6  ·  submitted 1997

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Earl Wilson, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

2019-04-18

tiny.ag/8awizecn  ·  submitted 1997

Expect everything, and anything seems nothing. Expect nothing, and anything seems everything.

Samuel Hazo, in Happiness and Misery

2019-04-17

tiny.ag/krs8ezg1  ·  submitted 1997

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.

Charlie McCarthy, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation