Unknown

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Always remember your weapons system was made by the lowest bidder

Unknown, in War and Peace

You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you.

Unknown, (from Mad Magazine), in Success and Failure

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

To live a perfect life, you must ask nothing, give nothing, and expect nothing.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

The surest sign that a man is in love is when he divorces his wife.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

The surest way of having something done is to forbid your kids to do it.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

The world is governed more by appearance than realities, so it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as it is to know it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Theft from a single author is plagiarism. Theft from two is comparative study. Theft from three or more is research.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Work and Recreation

There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation

To err is human, to forgive unusual.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent.

Unknown, in Success and Failure