Submissions
These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.
4781–4800 (6207)
tiny.ag/flxgicjm · submitted 2006
The penalty for burning an American flag is one year in prison. The penalty for urinating on the flag is also a year. But what if you urinate on the American flag in order to prevent an angry mob from burning it? In that case I think you should receive an official thank you letter from the President of the United States, plus you should only have to go to prison for six months.
tiny.ag/noz5hvmr · submitted 2006
"Most people think that God gave reason to humanity the way a father gives a rifle to his son, telling him, 'You can play with it all you want, just don't point that thing at me.'"
James W. Miller, from book "God Scent", Corinthia Pub., 2006
tiny.ag/ofacsww0 · submitted 2006
The biggest problem with being immortal is figuring out when you're wasting time.
John Alejandro King, - 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/dymemqwx · submitted 2006
'Iditarod' is how a person pronounces the word 'idiot' when their lips are frozen.
John Alejandro King, - 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/m4odxngm · submitted 2006
It is said: 'To live life requires intense self-deception or deep courage.' Luckily, most of the time these are pretty much the same thing.
John Alejandro King, from 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/yfxzpr9b · submitted 2006
- In the brains of pigmies giants dwell.
(Book of aphorisms "All About Everything" by Leonid S.Sukhorukov,UK,2005)
tiny.ag/qjyhblve · submitted 2006
Take it to the bank: the only way anyone ever "won the hearts and minds of the people" was by kicking their tails first.
tiny.ag/ti9bn1em · submitted 2006
You can cheat the man but you can't cheat your karma.
tiny.ag/obigxenl · submitted 2006
90% of life is throwing up.
... What? The phrase is 'showing up?'
Oh. Well, that too.
John A. King ('The Covert Comic'), - www.covertcomic.com
tiny.ag/x6udtngj · submitted 2006
It's true that investigative journalism relies on advertising revenue from the very corporations it investigates. However, it's also true that when investigative journalists report a major scandal involving one of those corporations, millions of people read the article and see the ads those companies paid for.
... So really, it all works out OK.
John Alejandro King ('The Covert Comic'), (www.covertcomic.com)
tiny.ag/a4nfgbfw · submitted 2006
'Iditarod' is how a person pronounces the word 'idiot' when their lips are frozen.
John Alejandro King ('The Covert Comic'), - from 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/cvcfheqm · submitted 2006
I am thoroughlly convinced that language evolved out of man's basic need to complain.
Lilly Tomlin, News article Chicago Tribune
tiny.ag/xfmckqw7 · submitted 2006
War is glorious, until you see the man next to you killed. Then war is only glorious if he was an asshole.
tiny.ag/fkdw8zxp · submitted 2006
The cruel truth is that the saying, 'Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion,' is a comfortable delusion.
John Alejandro King, The Covert Comic (www.covertcomic.com)
tiny.ag/omlex6in · submitted 2006
'Iditarod' is how a person pronounces the word 'idiot' when their lips are frozen.
John Alejandro King, - from 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/jktsmyuz · submitted 2006
Disrespect is the ultimate weapon of mass societial destruction
tiny.ag/sgtpxs2z · submitted 2006
Remember, the real F-word is 'future.'
John A. King ('The Covert Comic'), A Real CIA Officer (www.covertcomic.com)
tiny.ag/x0iuwp6o · submitted 2006
As long as you know the pros and cons of a proposal, do you need to know the proposal?
John Alejandro King, 'The Covert Comic', A real CIA officer (www.covertcomic.com)
tiny.ag/jvgwy4ha · submitted 2006
All government bureaucracies are required to exist in a state of constant activity; constructive, when possible; unconstructive, if necessary; destructive, as a last resort.
tiny.ag/x6ukfsd8 · submitted 2006
No one has ever seen Heaven but we all know all about it.
4781–4800 (6207)