Submissions
These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.
4241–4260 (5677)
tiny.ag/kcvpf6uc · submitted 2006
When Jesus walked on water, did the water contain significant concentrations of calcium and magnesium ions? Because if it did, that's what chemists call 'hard water,' and my fat-as-a-house Aunt Rosario could walk on THAT stuff.
John Alejandro King ('The Covert Comic'), www.covertcomic.com
tiny.ag/b81yuoc6 · submitted 2006
I bet Father Brown could find out who molested all those altar boys.
John Alejandro King ('The Covert Comic'), www.covertcomic.com
tiny.ag/hrdnjzet · submitted 2006
Let's not just sit here doing nothing - let's jog in place.
John Alejandro King ('The Covert Comic'), - www.covertcomic.com
tiny.ag/estvbghi · submitted 2006
If God brought you to it, he will bring you through it
Anonymus, Words to live by
tiny.ag/voxulbi6 · submitted 2006
An ounce of mother may be worth a ton of priest, but six inches of priest is now worth several million dollars.
John Alejandro King, from 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/myzfa387 · submitted 2006
"Patience is love's wristwatch."
James W. Miller, from book "God Scent" www.godscent.net
tiny.ag/rixdkusa · submitted 2006
- No matter how long you teach a fool, he still knows everything.
Leonid S.Sukhorukov, Book of aphorisms "All About Everything"
tiny.ag/uyr6pcq0 · submitted 2006
- April Fools' Day slogan: "Fools of the world unite! You've nothing to fear from the wise."
Leonid S.Sukhorukov, Newspaper "London-Info", 31 March 2006
tiny.ag/rz9s2bfj · submitted 2006
If your name was Noam Chomsky, wouldn't YOU become a linguist?
John A. King ('My War On Terror!'), - www.covertcomic.com
tiny.ag/xjs24qre · submitted 2006
One day wasted is one less day to live
Silver, life is short
tiny.ag/flxgicjm · submitted 2006
The penalty for burning an American flag is one year in prison. The penalty for urinating on the flag is also a year. But what if you urinate on the American flag in order to prevent an angry mob from burning it? In that case I think you should receive an official thank you letter from the President of the United States, plus you should only have to go to prison for six months.
tiny.ag/noz5hvmr · submitted 2006
"Most people think that God gave reason to humanity the way a father gives a rifle to his son, telling him, 'You can play with it all you want, just don't point that thing at me.'"
James W. Miller, from book "God Scent", Corinthia Pub., 2006
tiny.ag/ofacsww0 · submitted 2006
The biggest problem with being immortal is figuring out when you're wasting time.
John Alejandro King, - 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/dymemqwx · submitted 2006
'Iditarod' is how a person pronounces the word 'idiot' when their lips are frozen.
John Alejandro King, - 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/m4odxngm · submitted 2006
It is said: 'To live life requires intense self-deception or deep courage.' Luckily, most of the time these are pretty much the same thing.
John Alejandro King, from 'My War On Terror!'
tiny.ag/yfxzpr9b · submitted 2006
- In the brains of pigmies giants dwell.
(Book of aphorisms "All About Everything" by Leonid S.Sukhorukov,UK,2005)
tiny.ag/qjyhblve · submitted 2006
Take it to the bank: the only way anyone ever "won the hearts and minds of the people" was by kicking their tails first.
tiny.ag/ti9bn1em · submitted 2006
You can cheat the man but you can't cheat your karma.
tiny.ag/obigxenl · submitted 2006
90% of life is throwing up.
... What? The phrase is 'showing up?'
Oh. Well, that too.
John A. King ('The Covert Comic'), - www.covertcomic.com
tiny.ag/x6udtngj · submitted 2006
It's true that investigative journalism relies on advertising revenue from the very corporations it investigates. However, it's also true that when investigative journalists report a major scandal involving one of those corporations, millions of people read the article and see the ads those companies paid for.
... So really, it all works out OK.
John Alejandro King ('The Covert Comic'), (www.covertcomic.com)
4241–4260 (5677)