Aphorisms Galore!

Vice and Virtue

161 aphorisms  ·  5 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/dsx2hptx  ·  submitted 1997

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.

Unknown, (Sioux Indian prayer), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/fpgp1ubk  ·  submitted 1997

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/f2qlymio  ·  submitted 1997

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/v0yeshan  ·  submitted 1997

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/d6tftb8q  ·  submitted 1997

If everyone would sweep in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.

Unknown, (Middle Eastern proverb), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/rh0iiyqp  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/0xhdtnul  ·  submitted 1997

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/4euzwypx  ·  submitted 1997

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/fpmrxth3  ·  submitted 1997

A mountain wears down a horse, anger wears down a man.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/d39nscy0  ·  submitted 1997 by Ardyth M. Shaw

All the way to heaven is heaven.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/pqyzbh1e  ·  submitted 1997

Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/xuteqz61  ·  submitted 1997

Always do right -- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/mltkwzme  ·  submitted 1997

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/2p8s4z0u  ·  submitted 1997

Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/krxruwjx  ·  submitted 1999

Following the Equator (paperback)

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Mark Twain, Following the Equator, in Happiness and Misery and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/17uoj5hx  ·  submitted 1997

Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/qnvx9otp  ·  submitted 1997

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/mbwozhf6  ·  submitted 1997

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Mark Twain, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/q2py4esl  ·  submitted 1997

Let us so live that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.

Mark Twain, in Life and Death and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/j8lj2pgz  ·  submitted 1997

Virtue is its own reward. There's a pleasure in doing good which sufficiently pays itself.

Sir John Vanbrugh, in Vice and Virtue