Aphorisms Galore!

Life and Death

196 aphorisms  ·  11 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/tuvabnig  ·  submitted 1999

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

tiny.ag/znmoyas0  ·  submitted 1997

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by living forever.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/l3yahg9k  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Health and Disease and Life and Death

tiny.ag/sdvpkq9f  ·  submitted 1997

Life is made up of marble and mud.

Nathaniel Hawthorne, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/c4bqu3ci  ·  submitted 1997

To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy -- and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

Robert A. Heinlein, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/i5on8zyd  ·  submitted 1997

Catch-22 (paperback)

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/w9xyjy4p  ·  submitted 1997

Nothing endures but change.

Heraclitus, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/bleirdyt  ·  submitted 1997

Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ygktzxcq  ·  submitted 1997

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/zdywajhx  ·  submitted 1997

Children in the front seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/dxqkz8bq  ·  submitted 1997

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/7a4ntqxo  ·  submitted 1997

Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tqq05igh  ·  submitted 1997

Death and taxes may always be with us, but death at least doesn't get any worse.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/hcogkx8m  ·  submitted 1997

Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ynrgodhh  ·  submitted 1997

Death is nature's way of recycling human beings.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/h7w28305  ·  submitted 1997

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/b94hkcka  ·  submitted 1997

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/74zlcnif  ·  submitted 1997

Don't die until you're dead.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/nrkqajzx  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/vbn3b1au  ·  submitted 1997

Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure