Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxvyak3f  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dzggn7ah  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/57fvsz6t  ·  submitted 1997

No good deed goes unpunished.

Clare Boothe Luce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/qr9ysjed  ·  submitted 1997

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bx0vlces  ·  submitted 1997

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/l9caw6tv  ·  submitted 1997

A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.

George Eliot, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/kvgolwyi  ·  submitted 1998

The danger today is not so much that machines will learn to think and feel but that men will cease to do so.

Ferry, in Altruism and Cynicism and Science and Religion

tiny.ag/pyitdvns  ·  submitted 1997

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/u5uejalg  ·  submitted 1999

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vkemi9qo  ·  submitted 1997

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/oswh8aui  ·  submitted 1997

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

Joe Ancis, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dfwohelg  ·  submitted 1997

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours.

Harry S Truman, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/wqt4ciab  ·  submitted 1997

A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.

John Tudor, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/r1bfukdv  ·  submitted 1997

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/q6kxew3z  ·  submitted 1997

Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/sdmeheo7  ·  submitted 1997

I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism