Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/hwvmnmsf  ·  submitted 1997

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bn17or2l  ·  submitted 1997

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/g7qmt4qj  ·  submitted 1997

Welcome thy neighbor into thy fallout shelter. He'll come in handy if you run out of food.

Dean McLaughlin, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/avosjwgh  ·  submitted 1997

I don't necessarily agree with everything I say.

Marshall McLuhan, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/4eq50acu  ·  submitted 1997

All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that's said with a dismissive giggle.

P. J. O'Rourke, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/aoh5h6tb  ·  submitted 1999

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/3vps8ao4  ·  submitted 1998 by Caleb Ronsen

1984 (paperback)

If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.

George Orwell, 1984, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/458vctqs  ·  submitted 1997

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.

Blaise Pascal, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/gymh6otw  ·  submitted 1997

Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ne1vhxlr  ·  submitted 1997

Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.

Mark Twain, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/7do2rifh  ·  submitted 1997

The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

Mark Twain, What is Man?, 1906, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/r6bo5aic  ·  submitted 1998 by Mark van Essen

Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed.

Mark van Essen, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/1make2qd  ·  submitted 1997

The Brothers Karamazov (paperback)

Everything is permitted.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/tacuwmyh  ·  submitted 1997

He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/v128alif  ·  submitted 1997

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9xelzoym  ·  submitted 1997

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas.

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/nqcfjvh0  ·  submitted 1997

Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.

Mary Ellen Kelly, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/sc3tpgkp  ·  submitted 1997

We have met the enemy, and he is us.

Walt Kelly, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/mnrh4p2b  ·  submitted 1997

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/uaqbnf1k  ·  submitted 1997

All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality.

Martin Luther King, Jr., in Altruism and Cynicism