Aphorisms Galore!

Altruism and Cynicism

173 aphorisms  ·  15 comments

Aphorisms in This Category

tiny.ag/fcmzdpy1  ·  submitted 1997

A book may be compared to the life of your neighbor. If it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early.

H. Brooke, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/iht7l65u  ·  submitted 1997

Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool.

Bellamy Brooks, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/764yzbuo  ·  submitted 1997

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

A. Whitney Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/fmchbiz9  ·  submitted 1997

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.

Rita Mae Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ahfxksue  ·  submitted 1997

You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.

Rita Mae Brown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/p2zj718l  ·  submitted 1997

The only absolute knowledge worth attaining is that your life is meaningless. -- My life? Well now, that's another story...

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism and Life and Death

tiny.ag/rx3wkhug  ·  submitted 1997

You are cautious in showing your true self to others. Have you thought about plastic surgery?

Dr. Squid, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/qr9ysjed  ·  submitted 1997

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/bx0vlces  ·  submitted 1997

Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it is an enemy.

Albert Einstein, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/oswh8aui  ·  submitted 1997

The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.

Joe Ancis, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxvyak3f  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dzggn7ah  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ixcdrxvs  ·  submitted 1997

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dv1lo7ef  ·  submitted 1997

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/ncguuawn  ·  submitted 1997

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/scie9t27  ·  submitted 1997

Never deprive someone of hope -- it may be all they have.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/siw5bfv8  ·  submitted 1997

Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.

Unknown, (old family saying from Ireland), in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/cercjjq0  ·  submitted 1997

Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up to.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/hq8w7xao  ·  submitted 1997

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Lily Tomlin, in Altruism and Cynicism