Aphorisms Galore!

Comcast email trouble. If you are a Comcast user, you are probably not receiving any subscription email messages (like the Aphorism of the Day) right now. Or any email from me, for that matter. Comcast claims my email server is on some sort of blacklist. I'm working on it.

W. C. Fields

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/p3i4etjg  ·   Fair (159 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

W. C. Fields, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/sefftpkt  ·   Fair (150 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

W. C. Fields, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/pyitdvns  ·   Fair (288 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/dxiykzqf  ·   Fair (254 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

If at first you don't succeed, try, and try again. Then give up. There's no sense in being a damned fool about it.

W. C. Fields, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/u5uejalg  ·   Fair (387 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/vkemi9qo  ·   Fair (191 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism