Unknown

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

Unknown, (probably a misquote of Peter's Principle), in Work and Recreation

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You are only young once... but you can be immature your whole life.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what kind of people are his friends and children.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot achieve the impossible without attempting the absurd.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it.

Unknown, in Life and Death

You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

Wasting time is an important part of living.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Watch for big problems; they disguise big opportunities.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Unknown, in Success and Failure