Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/ufko7fwv  ·   Fair (3086 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/0adqbc8f  ·   Fair (518 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Albert Einstein, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·   Fair (591 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/yio6tuyz  ·   Fair (986 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Deep Thoughts (paperback)

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ooxlc4p0  ·   Fair (199 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Boring people are a reflection of boring people.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/da1k6tun  ·   Fair (723 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by Stephen

All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy.

Lee Hawkins, in Health and Disease

tiny.ag/pbhm4rie  ·   Fair (396 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Samuel Butler, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/fpwszor9  ·   Fair (343 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.

Horace, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/2ohv3gf8  ·   Fair (403 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/5x9cvfxv  ·   Fair (242 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ig3zfjp4  ·   Fair (484 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

Winston Churchill, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/ctd7inn0  ·   Fair (637 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I got a simple rule about everybody. If you don't treat me right, shame on you.

Louis Armstrong, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/yamidgsg  ·   Fair (519 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999

Ignorance does not necesarilly mean one has a lack of wisdom, for a most ignorant person can be one with much wisdom. It's "live and learn" that creates wisdom.

Austin Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/8hodlqqe  ·   Fair (451 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confessor of character.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/y7qkjsrf  ·   Fair (255 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.

R. I. Fitzhenry, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·   Fair (1237 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/orx9er1h  ·   Fair (383 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

Edward Gibbon, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/phdwhmxt  ·   Fair (632 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.

Cicero, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/mb7skahf  ·   Fair (276 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

It is people who live by the rules that are always hoping to get them changed.

Robert Harbison, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/ndscvllq  ·   Fair (339 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Elbert Hubbard, in Success and Failure