Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/fpwszor9  ·  submitted 1997

He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.

Horace, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/qn3ryz0y  ·  submitted 1998

Freedom is not the right to live as we please, but the right to find how we ought to live in order to fulfill our potential.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/fwsozshx  ·  submitted 1997

If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/da1k6tun  ·  submitted 1999 by Stephen

All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy.

Lee Hawkins, in Health and Disease

tiny.ag/hfx4m7bz  ·  submitted 1998 by David Shorr

The Satyricon (paperback)

Wisdom and beauty form a very rare combination

Petronius Arbiter, The Satyricon, XCIV, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/5x9cvfxv  ·  submitted 1997

I wouldn't mind dying -- it's that business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

R. Geis, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ufko7fwv  ·  submitted 1997

I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/tymlwb79  ·  submitted 1997

For a man to achieve all that is demanded of him, he must regard himself as greater than he is.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/orx9er1h  ·  submitted 1997

The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.

Edward Gibbon, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tldrjftc  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Riot: A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/jcg8ibwt  ·  submitted 1997

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/vmqykh2c  ·  submitted 1997

Catch-22 (paperback)

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/sq9g8eav  ·  submitted 1997

Dune (paperback)

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Frank Herbert, Dune, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/odq1svy5  ·  submitted 1997

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ya1hwz5x  ·  submitted 1997

There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees.

Michel de Montaigne, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/6jxieopf  ·  submitted 1997

A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.

Gian Vincenzo Gravina, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/pmqy9n03  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all.

Georges Courteline, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/mydapq7x  ·  submitted 1999 by Megan

To accomplish great things, you must not only act but also dream, not only dream but also believe.

Anatole France, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/uz9atcqm  ·  submitted 1997

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert H. Humphrey, in Law and Politics