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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.

Hans A. Bethe, in War and Peace

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

David Dunham, in Work and Recreation

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln, in Vice and Virtue

Romance is built on illusion, and when we love someone, we love the illusion they have created for us.

Roger Ebert, (from review of Boys Don't Cry, Oct. 22, 1999), in Love and Hate

We must become the change we want to see.

Mahatma Gandhi, in Wisdom and Ignorance

A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It buys you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness.

Henrik Ibsen, in Wealth and Poverty

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor, in Vice and Virtue

I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.

John Keats, in Success and Failure

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

Robert Byrne, in Vice and Virtue

I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

A man who seeks truth and loves it must be reckoned precious to any human society.

Frederick the Great, in Law and Politics

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Lao Tsu, in Wealth and Poverty

I would rather be attacked than unnoticed. For the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works.

Samuel Johnson, in Art and Literature

It was involuntary. They sank my boat.

John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace