Front Page
Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/iqolobqc · submitted 1997
In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.
tiny.ag/xachd7wx · submitted 1997
Whenever anyone says anything he is indulging in theories.
Alfred Korzybski, in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/pizd3ywt · submitted 1997
I hate quotations.
tiny.ag/nzeorxiy · submitted 1997
Every calling is great when greatly pursued.
tiny.ag/pbhm4rie · submitted 1997
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
tiny.ag/1i8zitnu · submitted 1998
I wish to have no connection with any ship that does not sail fast; for I intend to go in harms way.
tiny.ag/vmqykh2c · submitted 1997
The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.
Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/f7dpm5bc · submitted 1997
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.
tiny.ag/9kdycunx · submitted 1997
By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.
Robert Frost, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/orx9er1h · submitted 1997
The wind and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.
tiny.ag/wh6qtopk · submitted 1997
I improve on misquotation.
tiny.ag/zzbstsyk · submitted 1997
If the aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.
tiny.ag/nqhblasx · submitted 1997
It is perfectly true that the government is best which governs least. It is equally true that the government is best which provides most.
tiny.ag/bgvxtarp · submitted 1997
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Thomas Jefferson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/zwylfryx · submitted 1997
tiny.ag/2cctxyhg · submitted 1997
If we fight a war and win it with H-bombs, what history will remember is not the ideals we were fighting for but the methods we used to accomplish them. These methods will be compared to the warfare of Genghis Khan who ruthlessly killed every last inhabitant of Persia.
tiny.ag/qycsaode · submitted 1997
When angry, count to ten before you speak; when very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson, Writings, in Wisdom and Ignorance
tiny.ag/9qotdgih · submitted 1999
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
tiny.ag/pu94ynqw · submitted 1997
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
tiny.ag/hifvkpkc · submitted 1997
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.