Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/tp4xrqcg  ·  submitted 1997

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/mz7zqsiw  ·  submitted 1997

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/d0mk6ixb  ·  submitted 1997

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/2upsgaxe  ·  submitted 1997

The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/w4srf1nw  ·  submitted 1997

The world is governed more by appearance than realities, so it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as it is to know it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/f1l2esy8  ·  submitted 1997

Theft from a single author is plagiarism. Theft from two is comparative study. Theft from three or more is research.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/yevckcm5  ·  submitted 1997

There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/qzqzxjwo  ·  submitted 1997

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/mnjs1wvi  ·  submitted 1997

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/qkpqiaid  ·  submitted 1997

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ceh5zfoy  ·  submitted 1997

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/nswjrmi0  ·  submitted 1997

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/oumhmbbr  ·  submitted 1997

Official Project Stages: (1) Uncritical Acceptance. (2) Wild Enthusiasm. (3) Dejected Disillusionment. (4) Total Confusion. (5) Search for the Guilty. (6) Punishment of the Innocent. (7) Promotion of the Non-participants.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/pcn2zosg  ·  submitted 1997

Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/acorhvan  ·  submitted 1997

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/jaktd8ze  ·  submitted 1997

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/rjjl9rkn  ·  submitted 1997

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/b5lrmegw  ·  submitted 1997

Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ohvcxj98  ·  submitted 1997

Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

Unknown, in Success and Failure