Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/xl1yrua8  ·  submitted 1997

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/51wy2e6t  ·  submitted (updated 21:20)

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ubdtlbzz  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

When you're angry, take a deep breath and count to ten. When you're really angry, swear.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ygbwscup  ·  submitted 1997

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what kind of people are his friends and children.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/mfa7pfik  ·  submitted 1998 by Dave Supulski

You are only young once... but you can be immature your whole life.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/f65xdmkd  ·  submitted 1997

You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vtwqjzpa  ·  submitted 1997

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

Unknown, (probably a misquote of Peter's Principle), in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/muxgqopb  ·  submitted 1997

Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.

Unknown, (Greek proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/tcrvsd4o  ·  submitted 1997

Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/bzeqsrni  ·  submitted 1997

Wise men make proverbs; fools repeat them.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/yy2e1ad8  ·  submitted 1997

Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we've used the ones we have?

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/o4tugiae  ·  submitted 1997

While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/zeuc9zpa  ·  submitted 1997

While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/xjrw4zcp  ·  submitted 1997

While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is admission to someone else.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zsldl2jb  ·  submitted 1997

When you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen them all.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/s45yjewi  ·  submitted 1997

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/milcq4ya  ·  submitted 1997

Grinnell's Law of Labor Laxity: At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/dsx2hptx  ·  submitted 1997

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.

Unknown, (Sioux Indian prayer), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/pno9g5xa  ·  submitted 1999 by S.Skipper

Good friends stab you in the front.

Unknown, (from the movie Can't Hardly Wait; sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde), in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/vdu1almu  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

Unknown, in Success and Failure