Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/uxknfqoq · submitted 1997

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

tiny.ag/k41czawu · submitted 1997

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/zm6nq4mh · submitted 1997

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/hzol4xrd · submitted 1997

Watch for big problems; they disguise big opportunities.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/y8tf4vup · submitted 1997

Wasting time is an important part of living.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/2kf4ndl1 · submitted 1997

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/r8nedjty · submitted 1998

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/tbra32py · submitted 1997

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/h54z3wxd · submitted 1997

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/wbhpks76 · submitted 1997

Measure twice because you can only cut once.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

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