Unknown

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Sex is what women have and men want.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Measure twice because you can only cut once.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to make it complex and wonderful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Never give advice -- a wise man won't need it, a fool won't heed it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Never deprive someone of hope -- it may be all they have.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never argue with a fool. Someone watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little.

Unknown, in Men and Women

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she says.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Imbesi's Law with Freeman's Extension: In order for something to become clean, something else must become dirty; but you can get everything dirty without getting anything clean.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Men don't need women -- they just need certain parts of their anatomy.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Men who cherish for women the highest respect are seldom popular with them.

Unknown, in Men and Women

Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than in a Lada.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

My hands are free, but my mind hesitates.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Wealth and Poverty