Unknown

Wasting time is an important part of living.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

War is menstruation envy.

Unknown, in War and Peace

Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them.

Unknown, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

Use soft words and hard arguments.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Theft from a single author is plagiarism. Theft from two is comparative study. Theft from three or more is research.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Work and Recreation

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

The surest way of having something done is to forbid your kids to do it.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the scythe.

Unknown, (Russian proverb), in Success and Failure

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

Unknown, in Life and Death and Success and Failure

The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start with a large fortune.

Unknown, in Wealth and Poverty