Unknown

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

The Golden Rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism and Success and Failure

The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided by the number of people in the group.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

The best defense against logic is ignorance.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.

Unknown, in Life and Death

The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wisdom and Ignorance

The burden is equal to the horse's strength.

Unknown, (The Talmud), in Work and Recreation

Theft from a single author is plagiarism. Theft from two is comparative study. Theft from three or more is research.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Work and Recreation

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The surest way of having something done is to forbid your kids to do it.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the scythe.

Unknown, (Russian proverb), in Success and Failure

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The surest sign that a man is in love is when he divorces his wife.

Unknown, in Love and Hate