Unknown

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

There are two reasons for doing something: a really good reason and the real reason.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

There are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. It's better to belong to the first group because there is less competition.

Unknown, (Wilson on Home Improvement), in Work and Recreation

There are people who make things happen, those who watch what happens, and those who wonder what happened.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

There are a lot of ways to become a failure, but never taking a chance is the most successful.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Theft from a single author is plagiarism. Theft from two is comparative study. Theft from three or more is research.

Unknown, in Science and Religion and Work and Recreation

The most undependable part on your car is the nut holding the wheel.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

The only people you should try to get even with are those who have helped you.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

The more you put into life, the less you will get.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Vice and Virtue

The world is governed more by appearance than realities, so it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as it is to know it.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance