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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, discussing, and rating aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities, their ratings, and how new they are to the collection:

Comment#  ·   Fair (986 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

Deep Thoughts (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (572 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If time be of all things most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality, since lost time is never found again; and what we call time enough always proves little enough.

Benjamin Franklin, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (1031 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

To "be" means to be related.

Alfred Korzybski, Science and Sanity, 1933 (4th ed., 1958), in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

Science and Sanity (hardcover)

Comment#  ·   Fair (409 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Oscar Levant, in Happiness and Misery

Comment#  ·   Fair (384 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

All mankind loves a lover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (370 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (890 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999  · 

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate

Comment#  ·   Fair (334 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

To be prepared against surprise is to be trained. To be prepared for surprise is to be educated.

James Carse, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (1049 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.

Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation

Catch-22 (paperback)

Comment#  ·   Fair (447 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.

Daniel Defoe, in Life and Death

Comment#  ·   Fair (516 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (578 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

To generalize is to be an idiot.

William Blake, in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (1108 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

Ashleigh Brilliant, Brilliant Thoughts (copyright info: www.ashleighbrilliant.com), in Science and Religion

Comment#  ·   Fair (451 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confessor of character.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (275 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997  · 

If the aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it.

Stanley Garn, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (278 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Hubert H. Humphrey, in Law and Politics

Comment#  ·   Fair (1560 ratings)  ·  submitted 1999 by David Knight

An expert is someone who is one page ahead of you in the manual.

David Knight, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Comment#  ·   Fair (388 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

Comment#  ·   Fair (299 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin, in Vice and Virtue

Comment#  ·   Fair (554 ratings)  ·  submitted 1997

I never think of the future -- it will come soon enough.

Albert Einstein, in Life and Death

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