Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/ipnqtb0n  ·  submitted 1997

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/0xhdtnul  ·  submitted 1997

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/gjpds4m8  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/rh0iiyqp  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/piw4y7md  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/fwsgb93v  ·  submitted 1997

If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.

Unknown, in Food and Drink

tiny.ag/eanvvuth  ·  submitted 1997

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/d6tftb8q  ·  submitted 1997

If everyone would sweep in front of their own door, the whole world would be clean.

Unknown, (Middle Eastern proverb), in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ugvde1cx  ·  submitted 1997

If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/aqhc8mvh  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/stfdm53a  ·  submitted 1997

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/fsy6lb1v  ·  submitted 1997

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/v9nue1vj  ·  submitted 1997

Hearts are often broken when words are unspoken.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/pjhoaeaj  ·  submitted 1997

Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/t1qexukp  ·  submitted 1997

Holt's Law: All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/8ixk9v6t  ·  submitted 1997

Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/yifsur6a  ·  submitted 1997

Here's to your love, health, and wealth -- and time to enjoy each.

Unknown, (Spanish proverb), in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/ikpxuifk  ·  submitted 1997

Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/icgo06ph  ·  submitted 1997

Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/vdu1almu  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

Unknown, in Success and Failure