Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/gjpds4m8  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/0xhdtnul  ·  submitted 1997

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/ipnqtb0n  ·  submitted 1997

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/puraglae  ·  submitted 1997

If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances are 50-50 it will.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/bpgwmk3n  ·  submitted 1997

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/jaktd8ze  ·  submitted 1997

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/xqe7yfma  ·  submitted 1997

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tmqynfg7  ·  submitted 1997

It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats.

Unknown, (Russian proverb), in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/2wniecpg  ·  submitted 1997

It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the lowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as high as the eagle?

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/s7ezrvqx  ·  submitted 1997

It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/ulyprgno  ·  submitted 1997

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.

Unknown, (bumper sticker), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/r9askkgd  ·  submitted 1997

It usually takes a long time to find a shorter way.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/pe3wjdh9  ·  submitted 1997

Jenkinson's Law: It won't work.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/xnqzybth  ·  submitted 1997

Johnson's First Law: When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient possible time.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/vykjqus7  ·  submitted 1997

Join the Army: travel to exotic distant lands, meet exciting, unusual people and kill them.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/0raepug8  ·  submitted 1997

Jones' Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/6vqkumld  ·  submitted 1997

Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/b5lrmegw  ·  submitted 1997

Katz' Law: Man and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.

Unknown, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/rjjl9rkn  ·  submitted 1997

Kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/sbtlzeuy  ·  submitted 1997

Life is like a raffle -- you must be present to win.

Unknown, in Life and Death