Aphorisms Galore!

Unknown

Aphorisms Attributed to This Aphorist

tiny.ag/ipnqtb0n  ·  submitted 1997

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot dog stands on the moon.

Unknown, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/0xhdtnul  ·  submitted 1997

If people talk negatively about you, live so that no one will believe them.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/gjpds4m8  ·  submitted 1997

If only I could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/fqtpy65n  ·  submitted 1997

Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/qkyrww23  ·  submitted 1997

First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/xadsxg7n  ·  submitted 1997

First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/5dmluv32  ·  submitted 1997

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/e6ekgqrh  ·  submitted 1997

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/iltu4sq1  ·  submitted 1997

Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/rhb5ylek  ·  submitted 1997

Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterwards.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/njk4cbzp  ·  submitted 1997

Experience is often what you get when you were expecting something else.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/ifmh7qzv  ·  submitted 1997

Everything you do or say is public relations.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/xjumrw8y  ·  submitted 1997

Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/sbgdcf8o  ·  submitted 1999

Everyone smiles in the same language.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/tpxrfoyh  ·  submitted 1997

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/ncueqfib  ·  submitted 1997

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

Unknown, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/k4nebyuf  ·  submitted 1999 by Austin Holmes

Even if you aren't making money at your job, but doing something you love to do, you are a true success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/2uk6i3ep  ·  submitted 1997

Even a blind pig in a blizzard finds an acorn once in a while.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/qxbfoafe  ·  submitted 1997

Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are?

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/jnvbea3l  ·  submitted 1999 by Glenn Troester

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Unknown, in Life and Death