Unknown

Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Kennedy.

Unknown, in Life and Death

Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue

Art is a deliberate recreation of a new and special reality that grows from your response to life. It cannot be copied; it must be created.

Unknown, in Art and Literature

Any time you think you have influence, try ordering around someone else's dog.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Familiarity breeds contempt.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Unknown, (Chinese proverb), in Wisdom and Ignorance

God gives every bird his worm, but he doesn't throw it into the nest.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

God gives the nuts, but he doesn't crack them.

Unknown, (German proverb), in Work and Recreation

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Good friends stab you in the front.

Unknown, (from the movie Can't Hardly Wait; sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde), in Love and Hate

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.

Unknown, (Sioux Indian prayer), in Vice and Virtue

Holt's Law: All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

Unknown, in Science and Religion