Unknown

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

However hot the water is, the fire still goes out.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

Horngren's Observation: Among economists, the real world is often a special case.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Holt's Law: All jobs are easy to the person who doesn't have to do them.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Hoare's Law of Large Problems: Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Here's to your love, health, and wealth -- and time to enjoy each.

Unknown, (Spanish proverb), in Happiness and Misery

Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Hearts are often broken when words are unspoken.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Hatred is toxic waste in the river of life.

Unknown, in Love and Hate

Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know.

Unknown, in Happiness and Misery and Life and Death

First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other.

Unknown, in Science and Religion

First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.

Unknown, in Success and Failure