Unknown

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I've had one child. My husband wants to have another. I'd like to watch <EM>him</EM> have another.

Unknown, in Men and Women

I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.

Unknown, in Life and Death

I'm not afraid of work... I can even sleep beside it.

Unknown, in Vice and Virtue and Work and Recreation

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Unknown, in Success and Failure and Wealth and Poverty

I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.

Unknown, in Love and Hate and Vice and Virtue

I wish I were what I was when I wanted to be what I am now.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Unknown, in Wisdom and Ignorance

I am so evil that heaven won't take me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Unknown, (T-shirt), in Vice and Virtue

Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse.

Unknown, in Altruism and Cynicism

God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Happiness isn't getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

Unknown, in Success and Failure

Grinnell's Law of Labor Laxity: At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks.

Unknown, (Sioux Indian prayer), in Vice and Virtue

Good friends stab you in the front.

Unknown, (from the movie Can't Hardly Wait; sometimes attributed to Oscar Wilde), in Love and Hate

God gives every bird his worm, but he doesn't throw it into the nest.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation

Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday.

Unknown, in Work and Recreation