Aphorisms Galore!

Submissions

These aphorisms have been submitted by users but are not (yet) included in the official collection.

5121–5140 (5259)

tiny.ag/bsmsz1dy  ·  submitted 2001

Our cultural heritage is like an anglosaxian vomit where you can see some sausages seasoned with French mustard.

Charlie Christansen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/ulu0m9bz  ·  submitted 2001

It seems like that male comradeship arises from bad relations with the opposite sex.

Charlie Christansen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/iekjxocp  ·  submitted 2001

The worst is not the hangover the real ordeal is when yesterdayÂ’s unavoidable truths begin to unfold.

Charlie Christansen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/pdknqogf  ·  submitted 2001

Beautiful girls are like nuclear waste: They both have a damn ruinous effect on the surroundings.

Charlie Christansen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/tkqradbh  ·  submitted 2001

To live is like brushing your teeth; it has to be done each bloody day.

Charlie Christansen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/g8s2dcof  ·  submitted 2001

The attraction force of the (womenÂ’s) attributes is the first phase of the reproduction act which is the prerequisite for all life; thus in extension they are the meaning of the life.

Charlie Christansen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/8btigyxf  ·  submitted 2001

Why do women always go two and two to the bathroom? There already exist a mirror to prove any women that they exist. But No. They need another part that can see them through the mirror.

Charlie Christansen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/l2fgeh67  ·  submitted 2001

When your neighbourÂ’s house is on fire, get water for your own.

Charlie Christensen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/2hcbwhqe  ·  submitted 2001

Even the thick pullovers of Iceland can cover lace underwear.

Charlie Christensen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/lfdtnvbw  ·  submitted 2001

Actually I prefer August Strindberg, he blamed everything on his wife. Thus everybody knew he was an asshole – A true human.

Charlie Christensen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/oyulyx8a  ·  submitted 2001

As a principle I hold everyone as idiots until they have proved the opposite. And if somebody do prove the opposite then it is high time to realise that it is yourself who is the idiot.

Charlie Christensen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/qhhmxw4v  ·  submitted 2001

A beer is a beer is a beer

Charlie Christensen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/v8ncafje  ·  submitted 2001

The danger with alcohol is that you become happy when you drink it and the one who is happy doesnÂ’t need to drink. Thus you must drink so much that you forgot that you were ever happy, so that you can drink again tomorrow.

Charlie Christensen, Translation from the cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/numcdj2s  ·  submitted 2001

To think before you speak, is like wiping your ass before you shit.

Charlie Christensen, Translation from cartoon Arne Anka

tiny.ag/jtfjfvph  ·  submitted 2001

"If people are determined to dislike me, I am determined to give them good cause. There is nothing more tragic than misplaced contempt."

E. H. Munro, http://ehmunro.munroco.com

tiny.ag/kgbpqm2m  ·  submitted 2001

"An annoyingly cheery person told me that I ought smile as frowning required the use of 42 muscles and smiling a mere 16. I politely informed them that I was exercising."

E. H. Munro, http://ehmunro.munroco.com

tiny.ag/gz2yt4e5  ·  submitted 2001

Eco-activists would sacrifice everything to preserve the timber wolf's pristine natural habitat--- while the timber wolf would chuck that same habitat in a second for a can opener, a crate of alpo, and a working pair of opposable thumbs.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/rk2nge75  ·  submitted 2001

Only Man, of all God's creatures, could breed fools capable of believing it a virtue to live like a beast.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/lnp5czao  ·  submitted 2001

The vital difference between man and beast is their relationship to nature. A Man subdues it and rises above it; A Beast is nothing but a helpless victim of it.

RHJunior

tiny.ag/vpawnd5g  ·  submitted 2001

Nothing makes girls so pretty as alcohol and closing hour.

Unknown, Translation of a traditional quote

5121–5140 (5259)