Altruism and Cynicism
173 aphorisms · 15 comments
Aphorisms in This Category
21–40 (174)
tiny.ag/knyvxbon · submitted 1997
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
tiny.ag/9djxhqx6 · submitted 1997
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
tiny.ag/jsphv1u4 · submitted 1999
A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
tiny.ag/vwaksnik · submitted 1997
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
tiny.ag/cjkab7en · submitted 1997
I can resist everything except temptation.
tiny.ag/kd1gueir · submitted 1997
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
tiny.ag/0fxuodhb · submitted 1997
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
tiny.ag/dliywafc · submitted 1997
I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/otpgz4zj · submitted 1997
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
tiny.ag/5otyux70 · submitted 1997
I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.
tiny.ag/58hbs9pq · submitted 1997
It's not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts.
tiny.ag/458vctqs · submitted 1997
I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
tiny.ag/k8lcsqdw · submitted 1997
Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?
Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/amzxlbug · submitted 1997
All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.
tiny.ag/4eq50acu · submitted 1997
All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that's said with a dismissive giggle.
tiny.ag/3vps8ao4 · submitted 1998 by Caleb Ronsen
If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.
George Orwell, 1984, in Altruism and Cynicism
tiny.ag/aoh5h6tb · submitted 1999
Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/xhg05ovb · submitted 1997
I never know how much of what I say is true.
tiny.ag/tnwmsadk · submitted 1997
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
tiny.ag/rxmfom0a · submitted 1997
The relationship between truth and a newspaper is like the relationship between the color green and the number seven. Occasionally you will see the number seven written in green, but you learn not to expect this.
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