Altruism and Cynicism

Live to learn, learn to live, then teach others.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, kill it!

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism and Love and Hate

If the destination is heaven, why do we scramble to be first in line for hell?

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

If it looks like shit, smells like shit, mail it to your enemy -- he'll know what to do with it.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

Buying a lie is one thing, giving it away for free is quite another.

Doug Horton, in Altruism and Cynicism

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

Never give a sucker an even break and never smarten up a chump.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields, in Altruism and Cynicism

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Ambrose Bierce, in Altruism and Cynicism

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Louise Beal, in Altruism and Cynicism

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.

Lillian Hellman, in Altruism and Cynicism

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Frank Herbert, Dune, in Altruism and Cynicism

A learned County Court judge in a book of memoirs recently said that the overwhelming amount of his time on the bench was taken up "with people who are persuaded by persons whom they do not know to enter into contracts that they do not understand to purchase goods that they do not want with money that they have not got."

Lord Greene, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

I don't want any "yes-men" around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.

Samuel Goldwyn, in Altruism and Cynicism

A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.

Gian Vincenzo Gravina, in Altruism and Cynicism

One nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.

Lucille S. Harper, in Altruism and Cynicism