Success and Failure

Cox's Philosophy: Life's a bitch, and then you die.

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DeVries' Dilemma: If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don't want hits the paper.

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Dealing with failure is easy: Work hard to improve. Success is also easy to handle: You've solved the wrong problem. Work hard to improve.

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Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.

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Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

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Even a blind pig in a blizzard finds an acorn once in a while.

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After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.

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All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.

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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

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An error is not a mistake until you refuse to correct it.

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Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.

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Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.

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Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.

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Any time you think you have influence, try ordering around someone else's dog.

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Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.

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Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.

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Blessed are those who expect nothing... for they will not be disappointed.

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Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night.

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Boob's Law: You always find something in the last place you look.

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Boren's Laws: (1) When in charge, ponder. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in doubt, mumble.

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