Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/ikcjtldg  ·  submitted 1997

A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.

Daniel Boorstin, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/5rylx71v  ·  submitted 1997

Efficiency is intelligent laziness.

David Dunham, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/la65dtiv  ·  submitted 1998

It was involuntary. They sank my boat.

John F. Kennedy, (comment when asked about his heroism), in War and Peace

tiny.ag/vr4hxjva  ·  submitted 1997

The Devil's Dictionary (paperback)

Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me.

Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/eoc1jiyu  ·  submitted 1997

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

Benjamin Disraeli, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/pmqy9n03  ·  submitted 1997

It's better to waste one's youth than to do nothing with it at all.

Georges Courteline, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/nvfl7j9k  ·  submitted 1997

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.

Howard Aiken, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/0spygbpd  ·  submitted 1997

Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It buys you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintances, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness.

Henrik Ibsen, in Wealth and Poverty

tiny.ag/ndscvllq  ·  submitted 1997

Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

Elbert Hubbard, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/rdqgrf59  ·  submitted 1997

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/t9m3smqg  ·  submitted 1997

Women make love for love, men make love for lust.

Derrick Harge, in Love and Hate and Men and Women

tiny.ag/qiy9xdhn  ·  submitted 1997

To "be" means to be related.

Alfred Korzybski, Science and Sanity, 1933 (4th ed., 1958), in Science and Religion and Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/da1k6tun  ·  submitted 1999 by Stephen

All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy.

Lee Hawkins, in Health and Disease

tiny.ag/0adqbc8f  ·  submitted 1997

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Albert Einstein, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/ufko7fwv  ·  submitted 1997

I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/pu94ynqw  ·  submitted 1997

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/hifvkpkc  ·  submitted 1997

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

Doug Larson, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/lctsfa7d  ·  submitted 1997

Politics is like a race horse. A good jockey must know how to fall with the least possible damage.

Edouard Herriot, (from Politicians and Other Scoundrels by Ferdinand Lundberg), in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/kygnp58l  ·  submitted 1997

To be prepared against surprise is to be trained. To be prepared for surprise is to be educated.

James Carse, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/fwsozshx  ·  submitted 1997

If you have a bowl of apples and you eat the best ones first, then you have only the best ones left.

Shelly Horton, in Success and Failure