Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/yio6tuyz  ·  submitted 1997

Deep Thoughts (paperback)

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/s3j4zgfm  ·  submitted 1997

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

Garrison Keillor, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/fpwszor9  ·  submitted 1997

He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.

Horace, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/qn3ryz0y  ·  submitted 1998

Freedom is not the right to live as we please, but the right to find how we ought to live in order to fulfill our potential.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/soebrnq6  ·  submitted 1997

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Sam Brown, (Washington Post, 1977), in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/hoklinq4  ·  submitted 1997

Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay.

Daniel Defoe, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/gu6tloek  ·  submitted 1997

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Simon Cameron, in Altruism and Cynicism and Law and Politics

tiny.ag/o5og0ube  ·  submitted 1997

A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch.

Hermione Gingold, in Food and Drink

tiny.ag/jgjax6rp  ·  submitted 1999

Take a chance and you may lose. Take not a chance and you have lost already.

Søren Kierkegaard, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/f6aon4ji  ·  submitted 1998

Never try to out-stubborn a cat.

Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/i0nu42ok  ·  submitted 1997

The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense.

Tom Clancy, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/ct4xj6gg  ·  submitted 1997

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/npf5ywfi  ·  submitted 1997

He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.

Confucius, in Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/bmdpgrs0  ·  submitted 1997

Let's have some new clichés.

Samuel Goldwyn, in Art and Literature

tiny.ag/fg9hhljz  ·  submitted 1997

Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.

Erkki J. Jyrkkanen, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/mnrh4p2b  ·  submitted 1997

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

John F. Kennedy, in Altruism and Cynicism and Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/iulae0a9  ·  submitted 1997

That which is static and repetitive is boring. That which is dynamic and random is confusing. In between lies art.

John A. Locke, sometimes incorrectly attributed to John Locke, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/7alftveq  ·  submitted 1997

I don't know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Albert Einstein, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/vfmz7cvr  ·  submitted 1997

If you want a high performance woman, I can go from zero to bitch in less than 2.1 seconds.

Krystal Ann Kraus, in Men and Women

tiny.ag/bgvxtarp  ·  submitted 1997

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Thomas Jefferson, in Success and Failure and Work and Recreation