Front Page
Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.
Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:
tiny.ag/rxe07t5e · submitted 1997
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.
tiny.ag/2xwphyb8 · submitted 1997
Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
tiny.ag/fsnkyl1j · submitted 1997
To generalize is to be an idiot.
tiny.ag/kiehwrll · submitted 1997
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.
tiny.ag/kjm5ugma · submitted 1997
Change occurs in direct proportion to dissatisfaction, but dissatisfaction never changes.
tiny.ag/pu94ynqw · submitted 1997
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
tiny.ag/tuvabnig · submitted 1999
Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen, in Life and Death and Love and Hate
tiny.ag/toiqhdlg · submitted 1997
Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
tiny.ag/zhi7upjz · submitted 1997
I would sooner fail than not be among the greatest.
tiny.ag/mtktl96r · submitted 1997
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
tiny.ag/f6aon4ji · submitted 1998
Never try to out-stubborn a cat.
Robert A. Heinlein, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long, in Success and Failure
tiny.ag/e87wmjqg · submitted 1997
The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
tiny.ag/cgjakfr4 · submitted 1997
So of cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more it remains.
tiny.ag/bpu9tj3d · submitted 1997
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
tiny.ag/vsuzg5uw · submitted 1997
Being kissed by a man who didn't wax his moustache was like eating an egg without salt.
tiny.ag/vmqykh2c · submitted 1997
The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as we could with both of them.
Joseph Heller, Catch-22, in Work and Recreation
tiny.ag/x2tnoops · submitted 1997
The Puritans hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.
Thomas Macaulay, History of England, I, in Vice and Virtue
tiny.ag/b3ohbca1 · submitted 1998
He who spends his time reading aphorisms of another to have one of his own, has no time or brains to have any of his own.
tiny.ag/fg9hhljz · submitted 1997
Two things I cannot understand: myself and others.
tiny.ag/1txkpoby · submitted 1997
Were there no women, men might live like gods.