Aphorisms Galore!

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Aphorisms Galore! lets you Feed Your Wit by browsing, searching, submitting, and discussing aphorisms and witty sayings by famous and not-so-famous people.

Welcome! The computer thought you might be interested in these aphorisms today, taking into account things like their recent popularities and how new they are to the collection:

tiny.ag/odq1svy5  ·  submitted 1997

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/950guyxd  ·  submitted 1997

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/if7zb5ls  ·  submitted 1997

Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences.

Molly Ivins, in Law and Politics

tiny.ag/r3davdhl  ·  submitted 1997

In war, there is no substitute for victory.

Douglas MacArthur, in War and Peace

tiny.ag/9whxy8s7  ·  submitted 1997

Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways.

Stephen Vincent Benét, in Life and Death

tiny.ag/6jxieopf  ·  submitted 1997

A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.

Gian Vincenzo Gravina, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/9qotdgih  ·  submitted 1999

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Doug Kenney, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/ocxoq7dr  ·  submitted 1997

We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

Albert Einstein, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/dozch5ts  ·  submitted 1997

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck.

Marian Erickson, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/tq4jumf6  ·  submitted 1997

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Oscar Levant, in Happiness and Misery

tiny.ag/up1actjs  ·  submitted 1997

Decay is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.

Unknown, (sometimes, almost certainly incorrectly, attributed to the Buddha), in Life and Death

tiny.ag/aoh5h6tb  ·  submitted 1999

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

P. J. O'Rourke, All the Trouble in the World, in Altruism and Cynicism and Work and Recreation

tiny.ag/mtktl96r  ·  submitted 1997

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Collis P. Huntington, in Altruism and Cynicism

tiny.ag/ojpztwu9  ·  submitted 1997

Born a saint, die a sinner -- born a sinner, die a saint.

Doug Horton, in Vice and Virtue

tiny.ag/uejht2oo  ·  submitted 1997

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Jules de Gaultier, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/la8pw7kl  ·  submitted 1997

We have had an Imperial lesson; it may make us an Empire yet!

Rudyard Kipling, in Success and Failure

tiny.ag/fed8pqej  ·  submitted 1997 by David Epstein

Disorder increases with time because we measure time in the direction in which disorder increases.

Stephen Hawking, in Science and Religion

tiny.ag/qh2wpltu  ·  submitted 1997

All mankind loves a lover.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Love and Hate

tiny.ag/jcg8ibwt  ·  submitted 1997

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, in Wisdom and Ignorance

tiny.ag/pxnbu4ey  ·  submitted 1997

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.

Rudyard Kipling, in Men and Women and Vice and Virtue